tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-168096402024-03-07T00:16:22.405-08:00One for the AgesWords of wisdom from a big thinker. I hope to share my thoughts and maybe after it is all over we might have had some fun and learned a little something at the same time.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.comBlogger667125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-42592047644778624422015-12-22T21:00:00.000-08:002015-12-22T21:01:38.372-08:00Merry Christmas?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Merry Christmas. Is that what it is? I feel like I am supposed to be excited about Christmas and all of the fun and family adventures that it brings. But in reality I am really having a hard time feeling excited about it this year. Oh I could give you a list of all the reasons that I have not to be excited about a (holiday?) that seems to bring out the worst of consumerism in everyone and seems to bring all kinds of family issues to the forefront for so many people. But that isn't really the point is it and I suppose I might feel a little bit different if I had children around me who were excited about this time of year.<br />
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So believe me when I tell you that I get it. I get that I am perhaps being a little bit silly and perhaps wallowing in my being alone. So to speak. I do not mind being alone. I enjoy it for the most part and it is a life that I have pretty much actively chosen. I also realize that I am not actually alone. I do have friends and family and friends that are like family around me. But there are times when that doesn't seem to be enough. There are people who are not around anymore and who will never be around and I miss them. I also realize that missing them is not going to bring them back to me and that feeling sad about missing them is where a lot of the pain is coming from. I am actively working on trying to be more Buddhist in my daily life. I meditate and try to be more mindful of things and to live in the present. But it is not that simple at times.<br />
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I suppose it is the normal cycle of things to feel like one is doing well and then to feel like one is doing poorly and to feel like the world is closing in around them. I know that this is probably the first year in several years if not my entire life that the darkness of the winter in the pacific northwest is getting to me. I am feeling the gloom of the dark and rainy days. I am finally understanding what some of my friends talk about when they talk about how bad the weather is here in the wintertime. But really I know what the problem is and it is one that I am almost sick of writing about but for me writing about it is the best way to get it out and to release it into the universe.<br />
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I miss you Eric. I hate that you aren't here. One of my favorite things about this time of year was Christmas mornings with you and Devyn and my and Nicoles little house. I loved being there with your parents and you two and sharing that experience. It always made me feel like you were living with us again and I really missed that. After the divorce happened I really missed having you around I missed you being a part of my life. It mean't so much to me that you kept me around and connected. You didn't have any reason to do that. So many people would have walked away. It probably would have been easier for so many people to walk away and you didn't. This mean't the world to me. I do not know if I ever expressed that enough to you.<br />
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None of that matters now. You are gone. So many things that I would love to share with you. But that is over. That was a moment in time that will never return and most of the time I do a good job of shutting it down inside me and pretending that the empty hole doesn't exist. But then it all builds up and it is like the hole overflows with the emptiness and it all must come pouring out of me or I will be overwhelmed by it. I sometimes wonder how others function with all of this. I sometimes wonder how I am functioning with all of this. But going on seems to be the only option. To not is not something that I can do or that I want to do. I have no interest in that. What I have an interest in is loving others and caring for others and trying to making the lives of people around me better.<br />
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I am not writing this as some kind of cry for help. I am in no danger of hurting myself. I just have a hard time understanding how other people are able to process this. I know that we are all facing our own journeys and that the struggle is different for all of us. So trying to stand outside of someones life and judge how they are doing is a pretty pointless exercise and one that isn't beneficial to either of us. But knowing these things doesn't take my empathy away from me and often the pain that I feel within that is so strong. I think in some way that is why I love music so much because I can lose myself in the emotion of it without losing myself in the pain that others are feeling. I think that it allows me to empty myself so that I can be filled up again. That cycle never seems to stop. I am not trying to pat myself on the back or shake my own hand here. I am just recognizing where the feelings come from inside of me and where they go.<br />
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All of this coming back to I love you and miss you Eric. Sometimes I am mad at you for leaving. I still do not understand it and I do not know that I ever will. I think that if I ever understand it I may be to close to the darkness inside of myself and I do not want that. The darkness is there and it is ever-present but it is not overwhelming and it does not push at me or seem to desire growth. But for me to deny that it exists would mean lying to myself and to others who do care about me. The darkness is part of who I am and it is also a part of my being able to care for others. I am not scared of it nor do I wallow in it. But it is a part of me. Just like love is a part of me and that part of me is the largest part of me. The love in me outshines the darkness and while the world does get me down at times I know that the love does shine through. It isn't the love that I used to think of when I was a small child and was going to bible school. I know that and I am okay with that. I sometimes feel the limits of language when I write like this and I feel limited and unable to fully articulate the complexity of my feelings. But that is what it comes down to for me. I desperately want others to not have to feel pain and fear to not have to feel anger and hate. I want to be able to take that from them and hold it within myself for a time before releasing it.<br />
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When I hug someone I want them to know that I am present and that I feel them and see them there in whatever space they are in. That I will not judge them. That compassion and empathy are all that I want to bring to the encounter. To leave them feeling better and to leave knowing that I have taken some of their pain away and lightened their load. That is all that I want. The world is hard enough without us being mean to each other. I am by no means perfect and I fail but I have to keep trying. Otherwise there is no point and for me loving others is the point. The only point. I do not know who if anyone will actually read this but here it is. Please know that I love you and if you need something please let me know. I will do what I can to be there in some form or the other.<br />
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Be well and know that I love you. Thanks for reading this. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-32633707180353109352015-10-22T00:58:00.001-07:002015-10-22T00:58:26.759-07:00Late Night Thoughts<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I am not sure where this is going. I truthfully have no idea what is going on in my head right now. It is just after midnight on Wednesday the 22nd and I just found out earlier tonight that my ex-wife has remarried. I want to say that it doesn't bother me. But I am having a hard time going to sleep and for me that is a sure sign that there is a problem. I want her to be happy. I tell people that all the time and I believe that to be the truth. How horrible of a person would I be to not want that for her. I know in my heart that I can't make her happy and that what she is looking for in a relationship is not what I could bring her. That is only one of the myriad of reasons why we broke up. Her remarrying should not have come as a surprise to me. She has been dating this guy for a fair amount of time and they have been serious about it. So I am not sure why I feel like I was taken by surprise. I shouldn't care. I should be able to say good for her and just keep on keeping on. But I am really struggling right now and I not sure why. She should be happy. Everyone should be happy and if you aren't the person that makes them happy then you should let them go so that they can be happy. That is the only thing that makes sense. But if that makes sense then why am I feeling so bothered by this right now.<br />
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I don't mind being alone and in truth I actually like it most of the time. I like getting off of work and going home and disappearing into my room for most of the evening. Sure I make the occasional appearance now and then and I may step out and visit friends or go to the pub now and then but by and large I am a solitary being and like it that way. I am not a good fit for marriage and I do not expect to ever marry again or really have a long term relationship. That doesn't seem to be in the cards and if I am being honest with myself it wouldn't be fair to my partner to have to deal with my desire to be left alone. That for sure would not be good and would be a surefire recipe for relationship disaster. I do not want to do that to anyone else. I still feel some guilt for having done that to her despite the fact that we are still friends. I think had I actually known myself better I wouldn't have gotten married in the first place but I really felt like that was kind of the thing that you were supposed to do. I do not regret the 7 years at all but at the same time I can't help wonder what about how things might have turned out had I waited to ask her out or to propose in the first place. Had I not gotten married I am not sure that I would have ever gone back to college and I am glad that I did despite the nearly crippling debt that I have from school loans. I loved going to WOU and I loved Political Science and Philosophy. I found my niche their. I really did. I enjoyed Model United Nations and I would not have done any of those things without her encouragement and support. That is the truth. She brought many good things into my life. My relationship with her brought me close to her brother and that is a relationship that I will never forget. There are people in my life now that would not be in my life had I not gotten married in the first place. I love those people and they are hugely important to me.<br />
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My life is a good one right now. I have a roof over my head and a job that pays my bills for the most part. I have good friends and a good community around me. Oh sure there are always bumps in the road but overall things are very good and perhaps that is why this has thrown me a little bit. Things have been pretty stable and maybe it was time for there to be a little bit of turmoil so to speak. Maybe that is what I need to get me back to writing again and to move me out of the stasis of contentment that I have been living in. It isn't that I want chaos and drama because I do not. But it is very easy to be comfortable and to not stretch yourself. I know that is the case for me. I know that I love writing but I also know that if I am not feeling angsty or emotional about something the words just do not flow out of me. I am quite comfortable wallowing in my stability and comfort. I enjoy listening to my music and reading my books and thinking my thoughts without any actual consequences or affect on anything. It is easy for me to swirl around in an emotional and intellectual eddy and not actually go anywhere despite the appearance of movement.<br />
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Just writing like this I already feel better and in my feeling better I also feel frustrated with myself because despite my knowing that writing makes me feel better I stop doing it and just do other things. I have always had a hard time actually finding a balance for myself and that seems to be the key with most everything in life. The need to find that sweet spot. To find that balance between leisure and labor so that you are being fed in both directions. Here is hoping that I can find that sweet spot and if anyone has read this much of my ranting that you can find that sweet spot in your life also. I feel like I have written myself out of the funk I was in earlier and that is a good thing. She is a great girl and great woman and she should be happy and that is all that I should care about. The past is the past and it isn't like we have kids to connect us anymore. I need and needed to let that last little bit go I suppose and recognize that moving on is a normal and a good thing. So good for her. I say that with all sincerity. I am glad that she is happy and doing well. I am going to close with something that I read just last week in the <i>The Way of the Bodhistattva...</i><br />
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<i>"3.18</i></div>
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<i>May I be a guard for those that are protectorless,</i></div>
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<i>A guide for those who journey on the road.</i></div>
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<i>For those who wish to go across the water, May I be a boat, a raft, a bridge. </i></div>
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<i>3.19</i></div>
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<i>May I be an isle for those who year for a landfall,</i></div>
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<i>And a lamp for those who long for light;,</i></div>
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<i>For those who need a resting place, a bed;,</i></div>
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<i>For all who need a servant, may I be their slave.</i></div>
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<i>3.20</i></div>
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<i>May I be the wishing jewel, the vase of plenty,</i></div>
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<i>A word of power and the supreme healing;</i></div>
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<i>May I be the tree of miracles,</i></div>
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<i>And for every being the abundant cow. </i></div>
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This is truly what I desire. Be well everybody and thank you for listening. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-81163689750424324572015-08-23T15:29:00.001-07:002015-08-23T15:29:10.907-07:00Stream of Consciousness Sunday<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Hey everybody welcome to what I am going to call "The Stream". I hope that you are well. I am not sure what is going on but I am sure that what you are going to be getting from me on Sunday is a little experiment I am going to call "Stream of Consciousness Sunday" or "The Stream" for short. I am going to put on a playlist that I use at work when I am doing data entry and I am going to write for a while. I am not sure for how long and I have no idea what I will be writing about. I just know that I am going to be writing and whatever flows from the depths of my soul and out of my fingertips is going to end up in the blog. I will be going back and fixing spelling errors and things of that nature but as far as grammar goes that is about it for me. So once a week prepare yourself to have your mind blown as I spray my wisdom all over you. Welcome to.........<br />
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Today was a pretty good day. Actually the whole weekend has been pretty good. The day started off with a little bit of Bundesliga (German Soccer) followed by the EPL (English Soccer) and for me any day that starts off with some European soccer is a good day. So I enjoyed my coffee and watched a couple of good matches and then I journeyed down to the Broadway Coffeehouse and met my parents for Sunday brunch. There are not a lot of great choices in Salem. Unlike Portland which is filled with amazing places to brunch. I would say that Salem has less than 10 places that really serve a good brunch. They are good though do not get me wrong. I am not complaining I am just trying to show you the realities of the brunch experience in Salem. So after a tasty bacon and egg brunch I headed over to Archive for some coffee and to visit with my friends that work there. I do not need to tell you stories of Archive as I am sure most people are bored to tears already. But suffice it to say that if you want a good solid cup of black coffee or a traditional macchiato in Salem you can't go wrong by getting it at Archive. If you want something blended or icy and full of cream then find someplace else to go. They are not the place for you. I do not say that to be rude but just to say that if you are looking for a cream filled and blended drink there are plenty of other coffee houses that would be glad to serve you. I would hate for you to go to Archive and leave disappointed. That is all. </div>
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So after spending some time drinking and chatting. Oh! Also being introduced to an amazing local band named 'Will O' The Wisp' and I just can't even say enough about this band. I was literally moved to tears as this music filled me. Now I am moved to tears by lots of things but that does not make it any less special when it happens. I do not know of anyway to say it anymore clear then to say that I fucking love this band. </div>
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Do yourself a favor and sit quietly, close your eyes and just listen to it. Please. </div>
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I think that it is impossible for me to end on anything better then this. So good. Have a great day folks. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-67250770892360764362015-08-02T20:43:00.002-07:002015-08-02T20:43:18.219-07:00Keeping It Going<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Trying to get back in the habit of writing regularly may be harder to do than I thought that it was going to be. It isn't that I do not want to write because I do but I am not sure what I really have to say. Things are going well right now. I am not angry about things and often I am able to use anger as fuel for my writing but honestly more and more I feel like that is not good blogging and is really the easy way out. It is easy to be snarky and sarcastic and often just plain mean. If you spend much time around the internet looking at and reading different blogs you really start to notice a pattern of mean spiritedness in the more popular blogs and often the more popular the blog the meaner the blogger and the meaner the commentators as well.<br />
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I am just not that person and I do not desire to be. It isn't that I do not think that there are rights and wrongs or that I do not have an opinion on things. I totally do. But I also know that I do not know everything and that is okay. It seems like when I read these different blogs what drives them is this idea that they have an answer for everything and that their answer is the only correct one. Maybe they are right and they do have it all figured out. But I do not. I know what works for me but that doesn't mean it is going to work for you or anyone else.<br />
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This is where I meander for a while because I am not sure what I am trying to say with this or even what my intentions are. Perhaps I said all that I needed to say last week and there isn't anything more to say. What makes me think that people are really all that interested in my musings in the first place? Though I do get good feedback and that always makes me feel nice. It is an interesting process because while I rarely get actual comments on the blog itself I do actually often get comments on my facebook page or people send me messages which I like. I think that the majority of my readers know me in real life so that is kind of cool as well. At least it is for me. It is nice to know that some people are actually reading what I am putting down. Not that I do it for the feedback but it is still nice to have some.<br />
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I purchased this little beauty on Friday<br />
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I am not sure if it is a boy banjo or a girl banjo as it has not told me its name but I am looking forward to learning how to play it. I have been a fan of bluegrass for a long time but I hadn't ever held a banjo until July 4th at a neighborhood party and after doing so I really felt like I should get one. I do not think that there is ever a wrong time to pick up an instrument and that you are never too old or too young to do it.<br />
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That is one of the masters of the banjo a Mr Roy Clark. I will never be that good. But I am going to have fun and for me that is all that really matters to me. So far I have really enjoyed the process and I haven't done much at all but just work on some drills that I am supposed to be doing. No chords just drilling in open G over and over again. It helps hat I like the sound of the banjo as I play it that is for sure. Who know maybe one day you will at least get to hear me play. Be well this week folks and take care of yourself and others around you.<br />
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Thanks for taking the time to visit and to read. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-67920095865092646112015-07-26T22:00:00.000-07:002015-07-26T22:00:13.181-07:00Starting All Over Again....<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Hey everybody. I haven't written anything for awhile and I suppose that is actually a good thing. It usually happens when I am working and staying busy and it means that I am spending less time inside my head. The thing is I miss writing. I like it. I like telling stories I like opening myself up to peoples opinions and thoughts. I like being transparent. So I am going to work on doing this at least once a week for now and hopefully I can get back into the rhythm of doing this on a regular basis. I think that it is a healthy thing for me.<br />
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I am not unhappy. I am fully aware that for some of my readers this may be a little to "woo hoo" for you. But this is my reality and it is working for me. It has been basically 5 years since I got divorced and a little over 2 years since my friend committed suicide and in dealing with those events I basically lost my way. But one of the ways that I found to get back on my feet was meditation and reading some books by both Pema Chodron and Elizabeth Lesser. The books are "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron and "Broken Open" by Elizabeth Lesser. Now I can't speak for anyone else. I can only speak for myself and for myself these books along with some unexpected friendships that I stumbled into at Broadway Coffeehouse healed me or I should say started me on this path that I feel is healing me.<br />
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I meditate now and I focus on loving others and trying to do what I can to take peoples pain away. I try to be the kind of person that leaves people happy to see me. I want people to feel loved and cared for when I am around them. I want them to know that they have value and are accepted by me regardless of gender or skin color or ethnicity. Oh sure I make mistakes but this is what I strive for. I try to live in the present without to many expectations for the future. I try to not say no to opportunity and to new experiences. I have realized that it is okay to say that "I do not know". I have realized that I do not have to know. In fact all that I feel like I have to do is to live authentically and to love others. It has become very boiled down for me to the simplest of things and it is working for me. At my core I really do just love people. I always have but also I was always a little afraid to be honest about the intensity of my feelings for people.<br />
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But those days are over. I love people and I strive to love people. I hug people I place my hands upon them and I do so intentionally with the desire to show them that I love them. If I could I would send my love energy through my hands and into them. I want them to feel my love for them without reservation and without worrying about the social structures and filters that society has put in our way. I drive a van for a running team in the neighborhood that I like to call home and so far we have done Hood to Coast and the Wild Rogue Relay and I love those experiences because the close proximity and lack of sleep really tears those walls down and people get to know each other in a deeper way. I would highly encourage everyone to try to take part in such an experience if they can. It is worth it.<br />
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That is all for tonight folks and I hope that some of you have stuck through all of my ramblings and it wasn't a TLRD for you. If I can I want to leave you with this and that is that I love you. Wherever you are and whatever you are doing. I love you. If you need someone to talk to or someone to scream out or just a hug do not hesitate to message me. I will do what I can for you. Do not worry about shocking me or driving me away. Be well and hopefully we can visit again soon. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-20033724284049545992014-03-24T20:22:00.002-07:002014-03-24T20:22:43.360-07:00Monday Musings<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Today was the first day of my third week of work and it went well. It is nice to be back working and to be on a schedule and I find agreeable. But if I had one concern it is that I am having a hard time figuring out how I can do my writing. I am hoping that Monday afternoon and evenings are going to be a time that I can devote to writing and listening to music and continuing to explore my journey through life on both a physical and emotional level. Now, I realize that this may or may not be interesting to some of you. But, I also realize that as far as I am concerned I need to have the freedom of writing to express myself and that by writing I am able to keep myself sane. Writing allows me to get the voices out of my head and allows me to say things that I am not always able to say and for that I am profoundly grateful. I do not know how people live who are unable to have an outlet like I have.<br />
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Pretty Girl from Feltre - The Avett Brothers<br />
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Today is March 24th and I am basically dreading the coming of April, I am dreading it because in the middle of April it will be a year since Eric's death. And while I have made some pretty significant strides in dealing with this I am in now way ready to deal with this anniversary and I really honestly do not know how I am going to be able to process it. The very thought of it as I write is bringing tears to my eyes and I do not even feel all that emotional at the present time. But I am can feel them swirling around behind the small blockade that I have thrown up as a weak defense against being overwhelmed by them.<br />
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Warning - Black Sabbath<br />
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I have noted before that I do not fear my feelings and I have learned to embrace them and to ride them and in some ways bathe in them. That may not be the best way to word it but I am not sure honestly how to word it. I know that it is unhealthy for me to close myself off and to pretend that the pain isn't there and that if I fight against it the pain often lasts longer then it would have if I had just faced it head on and let it overwhelm me for a time. I think that is the strange nature of grief and loss. It can come upon us without warning and then leave again without a trace for a time. But that is just an illusion because there is always a trace. It is in the world around me. It is in the music that I listen too or the books that I read or the television shows that I watch. Or even how I carry myself and respond to certain situations. I am unable to look at my bookcase without seeing a book or two or three or more that Eric either inspired me to read or gave me directly to read. I love those books and I have not regretted ever reading them. Nor have I or will I ever regret reading them.<br />
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Only in Your Heart - America<br />
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There are films that I have avoided watching since his death. It isn't that I dislike there films. But I am not sure that I am ready to face the feelings that these films are going to bring about in me. They are not good or bad but they are sure to be intense and overwhelming and I am not sure how ready I am for such a thing. I want to say 'What the hell, just face it head on." But I can't. I want too. I want to sit down and watch 'The Royal Tenenbaums' and 'Almost Famous' and 'Fight Club' and other films that remind me of him. But I just can't. I want to so badly and I the idea of it just locks me up and makes my chest tighten with pain.<br />
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No one Knows - Queens of the Stone Age<br />
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On Saturday night I had my, what I call, my philosophy group. It is more like a fellowship group of some partially like minded thinkers and we discuss all kinds of things. I normally leave the group energized and fed and group was good that night. We did a question can thing that I always enjoy doing. But once it was over I wandered into the coffeehouse and had myself a drink and also ran into two of my good friends. These are two people that always make me feel welcome and also are really good for conversation. So I am always happy to see them. One of them asked how I was doing and I thought about it for a bit and realized that I was feeling rather aimless and basically at a loss. It was a beautiful evening Saturday. The air was still and warm but not too warm and everything was very nice. But I was not feeling nice. I wandered out to my van after saying goodbye and I was really at a loss.<br />
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Every Dog Has Its Day - Flogging Molly<br />
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I finally decided that the only smart thing too do was to go home. It wasn't like I was going to hurt myself. At least I do not think so. But the air felt almost swollen with anticipation and I do not know what I was expecting but it really felt to me like there something waiting to drop and when it dropped it would overwhelm me and I wasn't sure if that was going to be good or bad. To me the air felt like it does just before a thunder storm is about to hit. I drove home in near tears and by the time I made it into my inner sanctum the tears had begun to flow but I did not know what was driving them. They were just flowing. I tried to do some writing but was unable to achieve anything close to getting out what I was feeling. So I watched some very stupid television. It was Tosh.0 and anyone who is familiar with it knows how stupid it can be. It may not have been the healthiest choice but it allowed me to move beyond the gloom that was hanging over me.<br />
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Salty Dog - Flogging Molly<br />
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So that being said. I am not sure what was going on. I just do not know. But Sunday was a better day and so was today and now I am writing and that is a good thing. The act of writing just makes me feel better. It helps me to feel like something is coming out even if it is something that doesn't totally make sense to other people. But it works for me and for the moment there is some calm in the storm that swirls inside of me. I will never forget Eric. He will always be with me and I will always love him and I will continue to get tattoos upon my body that remind me of him. That is how I choose to remember him and to honor his life and his memory. He left permanent marks on my life and leaving permanent marks on my skin is how I can remember and honor that.<br />
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The Worst Day Since Yesterday - Flogging Molly<br />
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I know that April will be hard for me and I apologize ahead of time if I seem distant and kind of out to lunch. I apologize if my writings are overly emotional and weepy. I am an emotional guy and this is my canvas for processing theses things. Thank you for reading my thoughts and for caring about me. I love all of you and I hope to continue to share my love with you in the months ahead. So remember, be kind because the journey for all of us is a hard one and please keep on dancing.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0Salem, OR, USA44.9428975 -123.0350963000000244.763041 -123.35781980000002 45.122754 -122.71237280000003tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-41981514677486576352014-03-10T20:33:00.002-07:002014-03-10T20:33:45.384-07:00Monday Musings....<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Today marked the beginning of a new thing for me. I started my new job at the Willamette Dairy Herd Improvement Association (WDHIA). It was a good day. I think the job is going to be interesting at times and I think that I am going to enjoy working with Joel and the rest of the other people there. It is going to be nice to just be actually working again and to actually have a schedule to follow as well as have a little bit of income coming in.<br />
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Down By The Water - The Decemberists<br />
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As much as I enjoy having the total freedom to do whatever I want to do, whenever I want to do it I also like to actually have a place to go to everyday. So this will be nice. The best thing about working again is that I will be able to go back to visiting the Broadway Coffeehouse on a regular basis and that will make me very happy. Though the happiness will also come with a touch of sadness. The sadness will be there because one of my favorite baristas will not longer be working there and I will miss her greatly. She was the best of the best and a true artist and miracle worker when it came to latte art. But the best thing of all was that she was super nice and cool and things will just not feel the same without her there.<br />
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Yankee Bayonet - The Decemberists<br />
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That being said, and I do admit to having the tendency to being maudlin and overemotional at times, and in all seriousness I really will miss her. She was very nice and a good barista and I consider her a good friend as well. I am hoping that she has great success in her upcoming ventures. Though come to think of it. I am really going to miss having someone to share graphic novels with here in Salem. She had great taste in comics!!<br />
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Leslie Anne Levine - The Decemberists<br />
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The home opener for my beloved Portland Timbers was last Saturday and while it was seen in a torrential downpour and while it ended in a draw. It was still a great game to watch and it was great to be part of the experience. The expectations are high this season and I would argue that for some they are far to high and they are unreasonable.But, that being said, I do understand why some pundits and fans feel the way that they do about the chances for the team this season. We had an amazing season last year and the team feels even stronger. I am trying to be cautious about my feelings for the team because it is only Coach Porters second season and I think that we may have surprised some teams last season. So for this season I am hoping for another trip to the playoffs and a top 3 finish in the West and hopefully in the whole league. Along with an extended cup run. So we shall see. That being said. I hope that if the team hits a rough spot that the fans stay reasonable and do not seek to scapegoat any players or coaches in the echo chamber that is the Timbers Army.<br />
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We Both Go Down Together - The Decemberists<br />
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I am hoping to be able to continue my blogging. It may be hard to set up a schedule since I will be working from 7:30 to 3:30 but we shall see. Right now I am hoping that I can do some nighttime writing like this after work. But I am not sure if that is always going to work or not. I know how important it is too everyone that I continue to spread my wisdom to all of you and I wouldn't want to leave any of you deprived of my wit and wisdom. So you know what to do. I need some time alone!!<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-60136398607486478972014-03-06T19:47:00.001-08:002014-03-06T22:52:12.563-08:00Thursday Thoughts<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
At the coffeehouse drinking an Americano. As usual it is good. I have never had a bad one here. I can be sure of that point. In fact the only complaints that I have ever had here have been because of the other customers. The coffee is always good. The baked goods are always good and the service is always attentive and friendly. Is it too much for me to ask that the other customers behave like the members of the functional society that we live in. This isn't Bosnia or Somalia for Pete's sake. Is a little civility too much to ask?<br />
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Lover's Eyes - Mumford and Sons<br />
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Look around before you sit down. Take notice of the other people both in the coffeehouse and in the line. Take the time to actually read the board before you order. You have been standing in line for 30 sec to a minute maybe two at the most and that is plenty of time to make up your mind. This isn't Starbucks. Do not ask for something blended or whipped or extra foamed. Get your coffee sit your ass down and be happy that you are lucky enough to live in a country and a state and a city that really appreciates a cup of the good stuff. If you want a damn milkshake then take your ass to the Baskin and Robbins and get a damned milkshake.<br />
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Shaman's Blues - The Doors<br />
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Better yet. If there are a total of three seats at a bar location. Do not sit in the middle seat and spread out your gear so as to take up the space in front of the other two seats. This is akin too going in to the restroom and upon seeing a line of empty urinals stepping up next to the one other person using a urinal and peeing right next to them. This is clueless and rude and betrays you for the savage that you are. It does you a disservice and brings shame upon your family and your friends and any right thinking person would at this point choose to stop being your friend and just end the relationship entirely. Trust me. They are better off without you in their life.<br />
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Paranoid - Black Sabbath<br />
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Oh...and another thing. I get that you may be an a date of some sort with your lady friend. And good for you if you are. I get it the couches here are very comfortable and cozy. But seriously. This is a public place and you two are obviously not highschoolers. GIVE EACH OTHER SOME ROOM!!! I do not need to see your intimate relations in public. The baristas do not need to hose down the couches with disinfectant when you eventually untangle your entwined limbs and slither out into the darkness. That kind of shameful behavior belongs in the darkness and not out in the light among the decent people.<br />
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Isle of Avalon - Iron Maiden<br />
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This has been Lance's Coffeehouse Etiquette class for today. Get it together people. The world will be a better place for all of us.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-3686681652657260802014-03-04T20:07:00.002-08:002014-03-04T20:07:38.058-08:00Thoughtful Tuesday<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It is interesting the things that can pop up that cause sadness. To be sure there are some things that seem pretty obvious to me when I get sad. But there are other things that at times can leave me almost blindsided by the origin. Sometimes it is because the level of sadness seems almost above and beyond the cause of the sadness and it makes me feel like my response is out of proportion to what triggered it.<br />
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I Could Be Dreaming - Belle and Sebastian<br />
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I have been divorced for nearly 5 years now and most of the time I do not think about my being divorced or even that I am single. My relationship or lack thereof does not bother me. I also rarely think about my age. I do what I do and my chronological age is really not an issue in how I live my life. I am old enough to vote and to drink and as far as I am concerned that leaves me old enough to do anything that I want to do. I rarely feel old. Though I have friends who while their chronological age may be younger than mine they also seem older than me. They may seem either more mature or just more tired and uptight. I also have friends who are older than I but seem much younger than me because of the way that they live their life. To be honest once you get past 25 or perhaps 30 everyone just kind of seems all the same nebulous age. If you are living an honest and authentic life you are going to live and do what you want to do regardless of what number is tacked on your existence.<br />
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Roy Walker - Belle and Sebastian<br />
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That being said, while I rarely feel or think about my age there are times when I distinctly feel my age. When that happens in can cause some angst and often what makes it worse is that it is so pointless for me to feel angst about situations that are beyond my control. But as is often the case with my crazy brain. I sometimes wonder is my angst truly because of the situation or is it because I think that I shouldn't be feeling angst about this and because of that I create a self fulfilling prophecy concerning things. Because despite my angst and confusion I also feel that I should be honestly feeling and experiencing whatever it is I am going through and if I do not then I am doing a disservice to myself and to my friends around me.<br />
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For Prayer - Wye Oak<br />
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It is one of those questions that I suspect I will never have an answer too. For good or bad. That is my reality. All that I can do is strive to be authentic and to be present in my pain. Because to hide from it and deny its existence will, I believe, lead to a much deeper unhealthiness and a much deeper emotional sadness that will impact my life in far worse ways. Sadly knowing that does not make it any easier for me to do it. I am a passionate man. I love things and people and I get excited about them and I invest in them. That is who I am. I feel things deeply. I would not trade that for the world. But there are times that when feeling deeply also means you feel much pain when things do not go like you thought you wanted them too go. Even when you did not realize that you even had expectations at all and even worse when those expectations were so far beyond reason that you had not even realized that you were thinking them.<br />
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Sun It Rises - Fleet Foxes<br />
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It is at that point, for me, that the self loathing begins. Because I should know better and I do know better then to grow attached to people that I can't have. So too speak. But for me the frustration comes because I do not feel like I am going out there and searching for things that I can't have. By and large I am who I am at this point in my life and I let people engage with me who want to engage with me. I do not hang out searching for some sort of unattainable manic pixie girl to fix me. As much as I would like it to be, life is not a Wes Anderson or Cameron Crowe film and I am never going to find either Margot Tenenbaum or Penny Lane.<br />
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And I am not nor will I ever be Richie Tenenbaum<br />
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Or William Miller.<br />
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Though perhaps I am. Because much like them I am unable to gain closure on this.<br />
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My Beloved Monster - eels<br />
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The disconnect that I feel about this is also frustrating because I know that I shouldn't bee feeling this way at all. One of the things that I would say that I hate about myself and I have actually very good self esteem because lets face it. I really do know how awesome I am. But I hate that my emotions and feelings have a very tenuous relationship with logic. When my emotions come to town they either drive my logic away or they lock it up in some sort of hole in my sub-basement and force it too put lotion on it's skin for when they make the inevitable skin suit out of it. Thankfully logic usually escapes the hole for a little while at least. I hate to think what will happen if emotion is ever successful in its quest for supremacy.<br />
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The Chimbley Sweep - The Decemberists<br />
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Thanks for listening folks and always your likes and comments are welcomed and appreciated. I will keep on doing what I do. Listening to good tunes and loving others. We are all in this together and caring for each other is the best way to get through it together.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-64727579805832840872014-02-27T07:54:00.001-08:002014-02-27T07:54:56.363-08:00Thursday Thirsty? <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Good morning folks. I hope today finds you well. I am doing pretty good myself, I realize that I haven't written much lately but that is often the case for me when I am feeling pretty good. I think just knowing that there is a job coming up in the future has allowed some significant peace of mind. It isn't like my money issues have changed in fact in some ways they have gotten worse since I have literally no income at all. But, knowing that I will have an income just makes a world of difference. <div>
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Red Sector A - Rush</div>
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<i>Blah, blah, blah, Rush....prog rock. Blah Blah</i></div>
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I know that some of my readers come here from Facebook and I know that a few weeks ago on Valentines day I posted a picture of my new girlfriend and for the story that I am going to tell you today I suppose I should share that picture again. </div>
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Now contained within that picture are two things that I love very much, actually three. The Portland Timbers. Whiskey and Flogging Molly. This story involves two of those three things. Though I may add a Flogging Molly song for your listening pleasure later. Aw, hell, forget later how about right now. </div>
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Devil's Dance Floor - Flogging Molly</div>
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So, back to the beginning. I have always had an interesting relationship with alcohol. I never drank much before I was twenty-one. In fact now that I am past that age I do not drink all that much now. I would say that I drink alcohol of some sort about two or three times a month and often that depends on what is going on. This month for example, today is the 27th, I had two different beers and some samples last Saturday but up until then I had not had anything to drink other than a glass of whisky the week before. By glass I mean two fingers and some ice. I am telling you this to highlight that fact that while I enjoy a good drink and I enjoy getting a good buzz on I can take it or leave it as far as alcohol goes. In fact the only thing that I drink regularly is coffee. Glorious, glorious, coffee. The nectar of the Gods. </div>
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Concrete Jungle - Special Beat </div>
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<i>Ska members of The Specials and The English Beat</i></div>
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So when I choose to drink alcohol I do it because there is a party going on or because I think it will be fun or funny. I own two different flasks and depending on the situation I may bring one along. But I am very careful about getting very drunk or out of control in public. It is just not who I am. I was raised by very non drinking parents and I am sure that the shame that it would bring upon them has been enough to keep me in line for years. Some lessons stick with you forever I suppose. Anyway. So, last night was a Timbers match and I thought it would be both fun and give me a story to tell if I brought my flask of Jameson along to share with a couple of the guys that I sit near at the matches. </div>
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My Michelle - Guns N Roses</div>
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<i>Metal</i></div>
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So, as you can see, taking my flask along is not a regular occurrence for me but I do bring it along now and then depending on my mood or the situation. So last night I have my flask and off to the stadium Nick and I go. We get there and head into our section and I see the fellows that I mentioned before. I stop by the first guy and offer him a pull, he thanks me graciously and he takes one and I head to my seat. Once there I slide the flask back over my shoulder to the guy that sits behind me and he thanks me and takes a quick one as well and then hands it back to me. I sit for a moment and yell at some of the other teams players on the pitch. Nothing to loud or out of control and no profanity was used. It was pretty typical heckling for me. I then took a swig from my flask. One drink that was all and not a full one. Perhaps a wee mouthful.</div>
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Suzanne - Leonard Cohen</div>
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<i>Heartbreakingly beautiful song</i>.</div>
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A moment later there is an usher standing in front of me and he asks if he can talk to me out on the concourse. I question him for a moment but I was already sure that the battle was lost and rather than cause a ruckus I get up and head for the top of the stairs. Once I get out there I realize that I am dealing with two or three ushers and some sort of alcohol compliance officer and two policeman. The first thing that I say to the compliance officer is "Are the police really needed for this?" He assures me that they are not there for me but of course they stand there the whole time. I am sure just in case I am some sort of threat to the good of all. Again I was not drunk in anyway and would have passed any and all intoxication tests. </div>
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Humans Remain Human Remains - Red Fang</div>
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<i>Metal</i></div>
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I will skip all of the conversation and move to me being escorted from the stadium. Now I get it. I hadn't really thought about it. But the stadium and I suppose the Timbers have a policy against outside booze. But and I realize that I may very well be nitpicking here, had I been buying my beer or liquor in the stadium and been sitting drunk as hell and yelling profanities at the other team and referees. I would not have been made to leave. Because I had spent my money there. But, because I dared to bring in outside liquid, I believe eight ounces worth, perhaps ten. I was asked to leave. A season ticket holder for nearly six years with no other problems on my record at the stadium. I have never once been drunk at a match or been warned or complained about. I have never been asked to leave and have always been a good citizen of the Timbers Army. But despite all of that. They have a "no tolerance" policy when it comes to bringing a flask in. </div>
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It's All Over Now - Grateful Dead</div>
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<i>Hippies</i></div>
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I will be back at the stadium on Saturday. I was banned for just the one match and that is good I suppose. But it does bug me because I would have gladly given them my flask or poured it out and even taken a ticket and then gone back to watch the rest of the match with no problems. But I was not even offered that as an option. It went from a fun evening to kind of a lame drive back to Salem. I am just lucky that Nick is so forgiving of my stupidity. He has been a good friend for a longtime. My sad, sad story aside I feel like it is time for the Timbers to perhaps rethink their alcohol policy and maybe take things on a case by case basis rather than treating all of us the same and perhaps if I would have wanted to push things up the ladder I might have been able to talk to a manager or something who could have given me some flexibility as far as things went. But I chose not too. I also chose not to scream and shout and case a scene and that could have easily happened as well. But I chose to behave decently about everything. That is my story and you may or may not agree with me and that is fine. I will be attending the rest of the matches this season and perhaps some away ones as well and my flask will be staying at home. The lesson was learned. Though I think the rules need to be changed I am not going to be taking up that fight. Thanks for listening. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go to my quiet place and dance my pain and shame away. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-17737711708816078082014-02-18T20:22:00.000-08:002014-02-18T20:22:28.517-08:00Tuesday Night Bonus Post<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Today was a good day. It was honestly. But this evening as I was getting ready to go down to the coffeehouse I could feel the gloom coming over me. I thought I would stop at Taqueria Marco's Place, otherwise, known as Marco's and have some fish tacos. Those always make me feel a little bit better. That seemed to work for a little while at least. That is except for the what I must assume were sorority girls, a gaggle of them, that chose to sit behind me and did not seem to be able to use their inside voices at all. I honestly did not care to have as much information about them as I do now. They were not being rude but they were being loud and that is a hard pet peeve for me to break.<br />
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My Sharona - Hammerfall<br />
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<i>This is interesting, serious heavy metal band covering My Sharona by The Knack. They do a pretty good job with it. </i><br />
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So I got done with my fish tacos and headed outside to the van. I was thinking I would head to the coffeehouse and have some coffee and do some writing and just chat with whomever was working. Well, the van wouldn't start. It sounded like it wanted to start. But it would do everything short of actually turning over. I made a couple of calls and tried again. Still nothing. So, I got out and popped open my hood and the actual owner of Marco's came over and "Everything okay, amigo?". I told him that I wasn't sure and he told me that anything I needed and if I needed to leave the van in the parking lot that was okay. I was totally surprised and thankful. Such a thing actually means a lot when you are in the midst of a situation like that.<br />
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Ya Ya - Lee Dorsey<br />
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<i>A classic song from the American Graffiti soundtrack. One of the few decent films that George Lucas made. By that I mean the first three Star Wars films that were ever released and this one. That is it.</i><br />
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So I was feeling better after being told that I could leave the van there if I needed to and I decided to give it one more try and then call it quits. I stuck my hand in the car. I didn't even climb in. I just opened the door and reached in and turned the key and the car started. It just started right up. No chugging. No backfire. Nothing just turned over and started right up and begin to idle just fine. After all the previous hassle I very much felt a sense of relief but also I was a little unhappy because I felt like it wouldn't be smart to go to the coffee house and I was really craving a visit and some coffee. But, I did the smart thing and climbed in and headed back home. I am going to take the car into the shop tomorrow.<br />
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The Best of My Love - The Emotions<br />
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<i>Another nice song from a film. This one is from Boogie Nights. A great movie and a great performance from Phillip Seymour Hoffman. I love the movie. </i><br />
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So back home I go and back to my lair, my fortress of solitude, my sanctuary, my refuge. It is the place where there a no pants allowed and that makes it the best place in the world. Though for me, really anyplace where I don't have to wear pants is a good place. In fact, depending on how things go at the new job I may be making the transition to full time kilt wearer. I think my legs should be free from the tyranny of the trouser. My boys should be allowed to hang low and free and comfortably. I think true ball freedom is my basic birthright as an American. If the founding fathers did not die for my right to wear a kilt and be comfortable then I ask you what was the point of the fight for independence. Freedom for my balls means freedom for all.<br />
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Wharf Rat - Grateful Dead<br />
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<i>Good stuff from the Dead. It is always good. </i><br />
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Well, well, well. I actually feel better. Now I didn't really get into anything. But the gloom seems to have lifted. I suspect that I may have spent to much time alone today. That is a problem at times. I tend to live like a introvert but in reality based on my mood and how much whiskey I have had I am also at times very much an extrovert and I crave in depth and direct and intimate conversation. I want to make eye contact and reach out an physically touch the person and feel the connection between the two of us. I want to open my self up to them and have them do the same for me. I value that in a relationship and when it happens it is the best thing in the world as far as I am concerned. Such transparency is what I crave. Minimally this works as well even there is not the physical contact. Thanks for listening. It means a lot.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-86306934828258247882014-02-18T08:14:00.000-08:002014-02-18T08:14:10.081-08:00Tuesday Tunes...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Alright, alright, alright. I hope this is a nice mellow Tuesday for you folks. I am certainly hoping that it is for me but I really do not know what it is going to be and I am trying to enter it with no expectations that is for sure. The plan within the plan to have no plan is to do some writing today and to listen to some sweet tunes and to just keep on keepin' on.<br />
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If She Wants Me - Belle and Sebastian<br />
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<i>Starting off with these lads is always a good way to start. This is a very nice song. </i><br />
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I watched the season premier of the Jimmy Fallon hosted Tonight Show last night. I really am not sure what to say about it. There were moments of humor during the show and some slightly funny moments as he interviewed Will Smith. But I am not a big fan of Will Smith anymore so that was just kind of pointless as far as I was concerned. Fallon and Will Smith did a history of hip-hop dancing sketch but it just wasn't as good as anything that Fallon has done in the past with Justin Timberlake. I think Timberlake is a better dancer than <br />Will Smith. But that may be a conversation for a different day. All in all it was different than the Jay Leno era Tonight Show and that is a good thing.<br />
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See What a Fool I've Been - Queen<br />
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<i>Wow. This is a B-side but I have to tell you that as I listen to it. I can't think of very many other songs that rock so hard. Brian May just goes to work on the guitar and while the song came out in 1974 I can hear how it inspired several other rock songs over the years. I am looking at you AC-DC.</i><br />
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What else is going on? Oh it hasn't been covered much if at all, near as I can tell, by American Media but things are getting pretty unstable in Venezuela. Though I am reading that the U.S. diplomats have just been given 48 hrs to leave the country. I am making no predictions as to how this plays out or the reasons behind it. I just feel sad for the amount of people that are going to die in the violence that I think is probably going to follow as people continue to protest. I just hope people and their families are safe and I hope that the United States are not dabbling in regime change again. I think we did enough of that in the 70's and 80's. I guess I did have an opinion on this one. But this is not really a political blog so that is going to be the last I say about this one.<br />
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Awake My Soul - Piano Tribute<br />
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<i>This is a nice version of the song and really the whole piano tribute album makes for some nice relaxing listening. If you are looking for some nice music to take a nap too, you can't go wrong with this album. </i><br />
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My coffee this morning is the dregs of the yesterdays pot reheated in the microwave and I know that many of my coffee purist friends would be horrified by this, but honestly it is tasting really good this morning. But that may be because I got the correct amount of sleep last night and I was able to get up get my coffee and get back to writing with out seeing a single soul. I did not have to speak except for the mumbling that I do with myself and I am now just sitting here sipping my coffee, typing on the keyboard, and listening to my tunes with my headphones on. As far as I am concerned my friends this is very nearly what I would call the perfect morning.<br />
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The Bitch is Back - Elton John<br />
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<i>A classic rocker by Elton John. Not much to say about it. Nearly everyone knows of this song and it is a good one for its type. Though I feel that their is to much saxophone in it. </i><br />
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I also do not have a neck or headache this morning and that is always a plus as well. I do not have one of those everyday and they do not last all day long by any means but it is nice to have a morning when I have neither of them. I had a slightly odd dream about playing poker last night. It was odd because while I dream and remember my dreams on a regular basis I have not as I recall ever dreamed about playing poker. I used to play poker on a regular basis but I have not for several years now. I think not since the divorce so close to four years. I suppose that I could be missing that. I just do not know and as far as dreams go I usually do not bother to speculate.<br />
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Somebody That I Used to Know - Gotye<br />
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<i>This was a great concert and I am still enjoying the song. Though to be fair it was being played so often on radio that I took a break from listening to it. The crystal ballroom made for a good venue and the lady I was with made it a fun experience as well. Good times. </i><br />
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That is it for me today folks and I know that I try to leave you with a little reminder each day to love each other and to remember each others humanity but today I feel like this paragraph says it better than I can.<br />
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<i>"Inhabit your true Self today. See things as they truly are. See people as they really are. Be mindful of the suffering of those around you. Do what will aid the liberation of others today. Seek to do no harm. Be an expression of loving-kindness, compassion, and goodness. Do not look at others through eyes of judgment. See every person as your mother or father, son or daughter, sister or daughter. Honor your highest truth today. Be kind and compassionate with yourself. When you get off track, simply be aware and return to the life that is unfolding before you in that moment. Don’t complicate it. Respond to each situation today as it requires. Don’t become embroiled in drama. Realize that you are undisturbed, at peace, and full of joy in your true self." </i><br />
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<i> - Jim Palmer</i><br />
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<b>Keep On Dancing...</b><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-56385326159035691042014-02-17T09:37:00.001-08:002014-02-17T09:37:30.745-08:00Monday, Monday<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I am not a morning person and when I wake up and then let myself fall back to sleep it is not a recipe for a good morning. I also like to be by myself in the morning. It isn't that I am anti-social it is that I just like to be alone in the morning for several hours as the coffee starts to work it's magic in my blood and my brain begins to ramp up to its full speed. . I am pretty successful at making this happen on a consistent basis. So you would think I could handle it now and than when it doesn't work out this way.<br />
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Society's Child (I've Been Thinking) - Janis Ian<br />
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<i>A classic song about a young couple in love. The twist is that Janis Ian was 13 and the song was about an interracial couple. </i><br />
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But today was a day where it didn't work out and I am grumpy. I am grumpy for basically no reason at all. The morning did not go as I had planned despite my desire to not plan things and to live in the moment. The truth is that I do have a routine within my life of no routine that I have, it seems, grown to depend on. Which I think kind of sucks. Who knew? I suppose I did but I just didn't want to admit it to myself.<br />
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Spring Dance - Korpiklaani<br />
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<i>This is a folk metal band from Finland this is their version of a classic instrumental number. I love it. </i><br />
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On the plus side I think it is probably good for me to be reminded that I do not have things figured out and that I am as prone as anybody else when it comes to making plans and assuming that those plans are going to happen without any disruption. I think it is a a good reminder at least for myself that these plans can happen even when I have not or have not realized that I have actively been making these plans. As far as I knew I did not have any expectations for this morning. Today is the day that that President's Day is celebrated but basically everyday is a day off for me so that is not an issue.<br />
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Still in Love With You - Trampled By Turtles<br />
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<i>You may be tired of this song or this band but the music player picked them and I am playing them. Also I am not tired of them at all. I love this band and always enjoying listening to them. So get over it and enjoy the music. </i><br />
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As far as Presidents Day goes or I have been told that under the federal code the official name for the holiday is Washington's Birthday and not Presidents Day. I have no idea why it has become known as Presidents Day but I suspect that some fancy ad man at some point figured out that was easier to get people to go to a Presidents Day sale than a Washingtons Day sale. I do not know or really care to be honest. The most I do on a day like today is take a moment and think of all of our Presidents over the years in the United States, some good and some bad, but all had a place in shaping the country.<br />
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The Voice Within - Christine Aguilera<br />
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<i>I do not listen to her much and generally I do not care for her stylistic choices but when she chooses to do a song like this I am reminded that she can really, actually sing and has a surprisingly large range. I do not think that it is great music but she is a powerful singer. </i><br />
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I just do not see a need to take this day and use it as something to complain about. Though as I look around the internet this morning it seems to be that most websites are taking that route and it is just not worth it to me to dwell upon that negativity. I do not need it in my life.<br />
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Mistake - Danny Ellfman<br />
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<i>The film "The Next Three Days" wasn't anything special. But this song is amazing as far as I am concerned. But I love basically all that Danny Elfman has done from Oingo Boingo to his latest film scores. </i><br />
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I hope today is a good day off for those of you who have it off and those of you who don't I hope the days goes smoothly at least. Keep on remembering each others humanity and loving each other.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-8677977220477600092014-02-14T08:18:00.000-08:002014-02-14T08:18:05.521-08:00Friday, Friday, Friday!!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Happy Valentine's Day everybody. But in Oregon today is also the day that we became a state Feb 14th, 1859. All bow in honor of the birth of our glorious state. Our state flower is the Oregon Grape. Our state bird is the Western Meadowlark and our state motto is "Alis Volat propiis" which in English means "She Flies With Her Own Wings". I think that is pretty right on for my beloved state.<br />
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Now that all of the formalities are out of the way lets get back to talking about me and what I like okay.<br />
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Child of Nature - The Beatles<br />
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<i>You will get very few Beatles songs from me and this is an unreleased demo that was written by Lennon. It is fine I suppose but I am just not a big Beatles fan. I am sorry but they just do not work for me. If I need anything I need an emotional connection and this band eludes me. </i><br />
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<i>I Remember California - REM</i><br />
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<i>It seems that my music player remembers California rather then Oregon. Oh well, I think Oregon is better. That said I really do like this song. REM rarely disappoints me. </i><br />
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I think Valentine's is a funny day. I am never really sure how I am supposed to feel. Am I supposed to feel sad if I am not in the midst of a relationship? Because I am not feeling sad. I am feeling pretty good about that stuff right now and I suspect that were I dating I would be feeling much the same. The truth is that I am in the midst of lots of relationships with several very beautiful woman and I love them all. They may not be aware that I love them though. :)<br />
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Stayin' Alive - Bee Gees<br />
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<i>This is a little more disco than I like my Bee Gees to be but this is a great song and such a catchy tune. So easy to bob your head and tap your feet to. Try it you like doing a little dancing in your office space. </i><br />
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I mean, don't get me wrong. I like candy and hearts and that kind of stuff and I am as prone to the emotional outburst as the next guy if not more so and this is a day that is geared for such a thing. But I am just as likely to do something extravagant and emotional and dramatic on any other day of the year as well. That is just who I am. I am wired that way. But I am also not trying to make light of the fact that for some singletons, for want of a better word, this is a hard day. It just has not particularly been for me. It has never been that big of an issue for me if I am single or not. I just love people all the time. I can't help it. That is what I am about free love and hugs for all. YAAAAAAY!!<br />
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Chasing The Rainbow - America<br />
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<i>I can't say I am thrilled by what the ol random machine is giving me today. It is just not feeling like a day for America. It isn't that I dislike their music I just have to be in the right mood for it and today does not feel like that kind of day. </i><br />
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Let us see, is there anything else going on that I can get myself worked up about?<br />
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Frank's Wild Years - Tom Waits<br />
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<i>Nothing says Valentine's like a little Tom Waits. Now we are talking. Well done Tom, you beautiful, beautiful, freak. </i><br />
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It looks like that is going to be it for me today. Be nice to each other. We are all taking the same journey and it is hard for all of us. Remember these words and live by them "<b>FREE LOVE AND HUGS FOR ALL"</b><br />
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<b>Keep on dancing folks. </b></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-5943016614036460042014-02-13T09:08:00.001-08:002014-02-13T09:08:05.374-08:00Thursday Thoughts<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I am not feeling the muse this morning but we will see if anything changes as I share some music with you. I do not have high hopes but we shall see.<br />
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Strange Weather - Tom Waits<br />
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<i>Tom Waits is not the most accessible of recording artists. But once I took the time to really give him a listen I began to enjoy him. But I also fully understand that he is just not for everyone. But if you can take the time and effort to give him a try you will be rewarded for your efforts. </i><br />
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Forever - Haim<br />
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<i>This is a pretty new band of young ladies all sisters I believe. They are a trio and I really do like their sound. It isn't typical of anything out there as far as I am concerned and while the antics of the basis can be a little distracting they are a solid band. I really dig this song. </i><br />
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I am doing my best to put on a happy face today. But I am not sure what is going on. It started a little bit yesterday. Like I can feel the dragon of depression just hanging over me and waiting for a gap in my armor to sink his claws into me. Now, I realize that may be a dramatic example but in this case that is the visual that I am seeing in my minds eye and it is not a visual that I like at all. It both frustrates me and scares me.<br />
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Pearl - Katy Perry<br />
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<i>I really, really , like this Katy Perry song. It is beautiful. I can't quantify it at all but it is a song that I enjoy regardless of its origins or its popularity or not. The song works for me. But honestly nearly all of her discography I like. That is the straight honest truth and I am not ashamed of it. I am a Katy Perry fan. (I am not a fan of her dating John Mayer. I think he is a dirt bag)</i><br />
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The music is helping to lift my spirits and usually the music always does. In truth, even if the music does not lift my spirits it always helps me to center myself and to feel the emotions as they come and ride them. It isn't so much a control thing as a way for me to let myself experience them and feel them but not dwell in them. To me that is the real power of music. I love that it has the ability to really augment nearly every situation. That is the coolest thing. It is also why music has been used as a propaganda tool over the years and at times been feared by the establishment in different times and places. Music is a powerful thing.<br />
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Last Words - The Real Tuesday Weld<br />
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<i>I like this song and I like the movie soundtrack that I first heard it on. It is perfect for a sad day and for dwelling on lost relationships. This is the kind of song that makes me wish that it wasn't so unhealthy to smoke cigarettes because it makes me feel like I should be smoking one right now and I should be sitting outside at some coffee shop smoking in slow motion while the world moves around me in fast motion. That would be cool. </i><br />
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I sometimes wish that books would come with soundtracks and in some cases they do as the author will list songs or mention lyrics and I suppose it is up to the reader to track down those things. But wouldn't it be cool if books came with a small disc or mp3 player that would play you the soundtrack of the book as you read it. Or had cues so you could play the right music for the right part of the book. I think that would be awesome. Oooh, did I just come up with the next million dollar idea? Don't steal it you bastards.<br />
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Nights On Broadway - The Bee Gees<br />
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<i>One of my favorite Bee Gees songs. So good. Yes it is disco but it has a great bass line and seriously good harmony on the vocals. Good thick grungy bass and a nice disco back beat. Shake it, shake it baby. </i><br />
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Truth - Lily Allen<br />
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<i>I like Lily Allen. That is all. </i><br />
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<i> </i>Thanks folks as always for listening to me rant and rave and I hope enjoying the music that I bring to you. It really does mean a lot to me. I value you. Keep on Hugging and Keep on Dancing.<br />
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I had to add a song for this gif because I think that Boyd would totally dance the jig to this song.<br />
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Wait So Long - Trampled By Turtles</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-50393575729020339942014-02-12T07:52:00.000-08:002014-02-12T07:52:08.730-08:00Wednesday Wedneaday<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Good morning and my apologies for missing yesterday. There are times and usually it is I believe when the weather changes or I think more specifically when the pressure changes that I get very bad migraines and Tuesday morning was one of those. It was a rough one. I spent most of the morning lying in bed with a cover over my eyes. It makes me feel like Mrs Howell when I have one of those "episodes".<br />
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Rocky Road Blues - Bill Monroe<br />
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<i>A classic from one of the fathers of Bluegrass. I discovered this man a year or so ago and I always enjoy his songs and his guitar and banjo stylings. I missed out on some good music for several years by not recognizing the musical quality of Bluegrass. It is good music. </i><br />
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Today is a better day though. I woke up only slightly bleary eyed and feeling pretty good.<br />
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All of Me Loves All of You - Bay City Rollers<br />
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<i>Oh you guys are in for a treat. The might Bay City Rollers are here to entertain you. Just give into the cheese and enjoy the music. Let it make your head bob and your toes tap. They are cheesy as hell but they certainly fun and one of the biggest pop groups to ever make it out of Scotland. </i><br />
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I really am not feeling like I have much to say to you this morning. I am more interested in seeing what song pops up next on the player. Everything is coming to you today from the letter B. Though I am not sure why my music player puts the first name first when it alphabetizes. I guess it makes a little bit of sense for the band names but when it is just single name performers like Billy Joel and Ben Folds it feels kind of funny. <br />
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Ballad - Edward op 10-1 Brahms<br />
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<i>Just love a lovely piece of piano music by Brahms. So nice</i><br />
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The Olympics are in full swing and I have only been able to see a little bit of Curling so far this time around. I was reminded as I watched a match yesterday about how much I enjoyed watching Curling the last winter Olympics. So that has been a plus but other then that I am not sure how I feel about the rest of the Olympic coverage. I want to feel like it has been less than stellar but it hasn't been horrible and I suspect that it may be more my problem than NBC or the Olympics themselves. I only like a few events and they just do not broadcast those events enough for me. I like Ice Hockey and Judo and Curling and really that is about it though do to child sports abuse I have an appreciation for Ice Skating. But that is the last I am going to say about that.<br />
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I'm A Cuckoo - Belle and Sebastian<br />
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<i>This is a great song. I really am unable to say enough about this band. I like all that they do. </i><br />
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My comments about "So I Married an Axe Murderer" caused a bit of a stir. It was as I suspected. There are people who have such fond memories of one or two stand out scenes in the film that their brain has forgotten all of the miserable fluff and video montages in between the funny bits and that my friends does not a good film make in any sense of the word. I enjoy a good montage as much as the next guy but there are times when it really is pretty sloppy storytelling and some directors will use this to pad a film. If done well the audience can totally miss it and just be caught up in the moment which is great but when done poorly it becomes glaringly obvious what is going on. Michael Bay is a good example of this kind of crap.<br />
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He's A Liar - The Bee Gees<br />
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<i>The classic disco stylings of the Bee Gees. This is a good one even though it does has a disco back beat. I like the lyrics and it really is a great example of what was popular in the early 80's. This song came out in 1981 I believe. I like it though. Good stuff. </i><br />
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That is going to be it for today. I hope today is a great one for you and despite the rain you are able to find some sunshine today either physically or emotionally. Do something that makes you happy even if for a short time. In my case I believe that I shall be listening to a lot of music today. That often does the trick for me when things are feeling kind of gloomy and gray. So Hug each other and keep on Dancing will you.<br />
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Sun In My Morning - The Bee Gees<br />
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<i>Feel the emotion. Embrace the emotion and ride the storm through it and on the other side you will be the better for it. Trust me. </i><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-34531599759235817772014-02-10T08:06:00.001-08:002014-02-10T08:06:08.900-08:00Monday, Monday<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Well, that was some weekend. I think when I mentioned some snow on Thursday I had no expectations of such a large amount of snow in such a short period of time. It was nice to see the weather service pretty much hit the nail right on the head as far as their forecasts went. I think people might have been happier if they had been wrong about this one. But I think that a lot of people probably were able to use the forced downtime for some much needed family time and rest. At least I want to hope that is what happened.<br />
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Masters of War - Amon Amarth<br />
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<i>I like this band. That is today I like the musical and not the vocal styling of this band. I hate the heavy metal muppet voice. So bad. As far as I am concerned to sing like Grover is not musical and it detracts from the straight majestic power of the metal. </i><br />
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Today the music is on random as usual but it is only going to be from artists that reside in the A category of the alphabet. So we shall see what this experiment brings us. I had a pretty quite weekend since I was stuck indoors the whole time. I am not complaining, mind you, the power stayed on and we have internet and cable television. So things could have been far far worse for me. So overall it was a very nice and quiet and drama free weekend.<br />
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Alice - Avril Lavigne<br />
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<i>This is from the Tim Burton film 'Almost Alice'. I have never seen it or really heard the song before. It is a pretty typical example of the kind of music that she is putting out right now. Actually the kind of music that is the most mainstream right now. I am just waiting to hear a rap track from hot supposedly urban rapper. </i><br />
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I watched several interesting films this weekend. Thanks to Amazon Prime and other internet services. I think the film that stood out the most for me was the 1999 film 'Mansfield Park'. It is based on the Jane Austen novel of the same name written in 1814. It was pretty typical of the Austen book world, a young woman and her issues with family and class and relationships. But what I found more interesting was the way that the film touched on issues of slavery and infidelity. The book of course touches much deeper on these but at the same time the film did a good job in it's short amount of time addressing these issues and how they affect Fanny and the rest of the family at the core of the story.<br />
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I Need You - America<br />
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<i>Classic 70's rock and very nice to listen too. So put your feet up and relax. </i><br />
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I also watched the Mike Meyers film from 1993 'So I Married an Axe Murderer' and it was just as I remembered. There are moment of laugh out loud humor. Things that are genuinely funny in there lunacy. But as a constructed whole it is not a very good movie at all. Now there is a certain generation of a certain age that are going to be able to quote lines from this film and most nearly everyone from this generation are going to recognize and enjoy those lines. But that is all that they are really going to remember from this film. If they are at all like me and I suspect that they are, their mind has blanked out all of the bad acting and the clunky dialogue and jokes. I loved Mike Meyers in 'Waynes World' but I just do not buy him in this as the romantic center piece. I know that he can act or used to be able to act. But in this film he doesn't do it very well and if you have seen the Austin Powers films then you can see him beginning to perfect his shtick. I give it barely 2 stars out of 4. It isn't a bad film to have on as background noise. But that is all.<br />
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Stand Back - The Allman Brother Band<br />
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<i>I like this band a lot and this is a great song that showcases both the keyboard and the guitar work. Solid stuff. I always enjoy the jamminess of their sound. Never disappoints me at least their early stuff. </i><br />
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I also started watch 'The Americans' and let me tell you. I really am enjoying it. Here is a description from Wikipedia<br />
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"Set during the Cold War period in the 1980s, The Americans is the story of Elizabeth (Keri Russell) and Philip Jennings (Matthew Rhys), two Soviet KGB officers posing as an American married couple in the suburbs of Washington, D.C. with their unsuspecting children (Holly Taylor and Keidrich Sellati), and their neighbor, Stan Beeman (Noah Emmerich), an FBI Counter-Intelligence agent. The series focuses on the personal and professional lives of the Jennings', sometimes incorporating real-life events into the narrative. The show's creator has described the series as being ultimately about a marriage."<br />
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I had stayed away from watching it. I am not sure why. I think one reason was because I grew up in that era and I was not ready to relive a bunch of Cold War propaganda. But that being said. I was wrong and the show is more then that. It does help that the show was produced by a former CIA officer and the spy craft stuff is very interesting and fun to watch. I am not sure how it feels to someone who didn't live during that era but I really do enjoy it. I was surprised though at the amount of nudity in a FX series not called "Sons of Anarchy". But if you have some time and Amazon Prime do yourselves a favor and check this out. I think that you will enjoy it. I haven't finished the season but I have enjoyed it so far. <br />
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All My Life - America<br />
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<i>If I had one complaint about this band. It is that some of their songs can be this kind of syrupy love song. Too much treacle as far as I am concerned and a little hard for me to swallow at times. But they still sound nice. This is a classic wedding video song. Or anniversary song. Maybe I am just cynical about the state of marriage and relationship in the modern era. But that is perhaps a topic best lest for another day. </i><br />
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That is it folks. I hope to make an appearance at the coffeehouse today. It will be good to get out of the house. That is for sure. Have a good day and stay safe out there. You guys know the drill but I am going to say it again. <b>Hug each other and love each other and remember our humanity and keep on dancing.</b><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-1374749299499260122014-02-06T08:00:00.000-08:002014-02-06T08:00:01.260-08:00Thursday<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Good morning folks and welcome to what looks like is going to be a snowy Thursday. We shall see anyway. The snow has not began to fall where I am but often if we start getting snow than that means that there is a fair amount already at the higher elevations. So we shall see what happens. We have plenty of coffee in the house and that is all that really matter to me.<br />
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You Are The One - The Sugar Bears<br />
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<i>I believe that this was a fake cartoon band that was created to see Sugar Bear cereal. But I like the song. Classic 70's pop.</i><br />
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Now that football season is over I am can look forward to football of a different sort or soccer as we call it in America. My beloved Portland Timbers have already started their preseason camp in Arizona and have played two early practice matches. One against KC and one against Houston. The team looked pretty good in both matches. They tied the first one and won the second one 2 to nil. The numbers do not really mean a lot but it is nice to see that they are putting the ball into the net and making some progress. The thing that I am looking forward to this year is that the team will have had a solid year under Porter and that gives me great hope that this will allow them to turn last seasons 14 or 15 draws into wins. So we shall see.<br />
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King of Comedy - REM<br />
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<i>This is not my favorite REM song but I do not hate it. I am not sure about it. Because it kind of has grown on me but I like a more clear vocal track. </i><br />
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Suffragette City - Seu Jorge<br />
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<i>I usually do not like covers of songs done by the sainted one. David Bowie but this song and several great ones were done for the "Life Aquatic" and are in Portuguese and are amazing. The movie is great and so is the soundtrack but that is not a surprise as soundtracks are something that Wes Anderson does very well. </i><br />
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I find it interesting the different ways that the people in Salem and the Valley react to snow or the threat of snow. The reactions seem to range from really, really giddiness to people almost angry at the snow for it daring to challenge them. But what I find almost more funny is the people who are almost angry at the weather forecasters on the news. These people pay far more attention than I ever have to a local news broadcast and when snow is predicted they are first on the scene to point out that no snow has fallen and how the forecasters are just guessing all of the time. Usually just post after post of this on Facebook.<br />
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Finally Falling - Victoria Justice<br />
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<i>Teen pop from the Nickelodeon machine. I do not care because I like teen pop now and then. It gives a certain sunniness to life and I like that. </i><br />
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But what really amuses me is that when the forecasters get it right and the snow is falling fast and heavy and deep these people never ever acknowledge that the forecaster has gotten it right. I am not an apologist for the forecasters, that is not the point. The point is that if you are constantly going to be making a big deal out of something and then you are proven wrong or they are proven right. Well it is okay to acknowledge that you were mistaken and maybe even apologize for the abuse you have been hurling upon them. Would it kill you to be generous? What benefit are you getting out of not acknowledging your mistake? None of us are perfect and it is gloriously freeing when you realize that you do not know everything. Speaking only for myself, when I realized that I do not know everything and that I do not need to know everything and that I do not need to be correct all of the time. Well, life just became better. It will not hurt you to admit that you do not know the answer to everything. Try it. Just admit it to yourself and you will be amazed at how free you soon feel.<br />
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Hope - Judas Priest<br />
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<i>This song is from the Priest concept album 'Nostradamus'. It is a pretty good album and Rob Halfords voice is still strong after all these years. </i><br />
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Row Jimmy - The Decembrists<br />
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<i>This is, I believe, a cover of a Grateful Dead song and I like it a lot. but I like both The Decembrists and the Grateful Dead a lot. So listen to it. </i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Have a good day folks. Snow or not and love your neighbor and yourself. Free Hugs for all and keep on dancing.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-39334165865675410462014-02-05T08:23:00.001-08:002014-02-05T08:23:16.117-08:00Wednesday...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Well the little bit of snow that we had yesterday was a nice surprise wasn't it. I loved how the flakes looked all light and fluffy as they came floating down. I also liked how they didn't stick and freeze and make life miserable for everyone. I do not dislike snow but I sometimes do not like the chaos that results from lots of snow sticking on the ground. So what we got yesterday was great.<br />
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Anymore - Savatage<br />
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<i>Epic metal and I always love some good epic metal. I always have and I always will. This band has two lead guitars and the only thing more awesome than that would be to have more.</i><br />
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The brain is refusing to cooperate with me this morning. I would love to give you all some great wit and wisdom some real nuggets for you to process as you go about your day. But that does not seem to be happening. CURSES!!! I control you brain. You do not control me!!<br />
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My Brother Works For The CIA - Trampled By Turtles<br />
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<i>Everyone knows how much I love this band. Give them a listen even if you do not like bluegrass or country or country blues. You will not regret it.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Now where was I? Yes, I suppose I should be thankful today that I am not all worked up and angry about something. Just typing away gritting my teeth and feeling my blood pressure rise as I spit my wisdom out there for all of the mouth breathing inbred's to read. I suppose that is not charitable of me. It isn't the fault of the inbred that they are an inbred. I should probably blame the inbreeding that caused the inbred in the first place. Which came first the inbred or the inbreeder? That is a pretty easy answer.<br />
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Harvester of Eyes - Blue Oyster Cult<br />
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<i>One of the first metal bands of all time and a band that inspired so many other great modern metal and rock bands. Good stuff.</i><br />
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I am thankful that I am not all angry and worked up today. The sun is out and it likes like it is going to stay out and that is always something that I am happy about. I like Oregon, sunny or not, but there is something that is so beautiful about it when the sun is shining and the air is crisp and clear. It is just a lovely place to live and be and exist in. I would not choose another place in the world to live. There may be other places that I would visit but Oregon is truly the place I love and the place that I feel lucky enough to call home. So nice.<br />
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300 MPH Torrential Outpour Blues - White Stripes<br />
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<i>Everything they do is good. Everything Jack White does is good. I will speak no more on this.</i><br />
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Speak To The Sky - Rick Springfield<br />
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<i>I do not know if that is the "Jesse's Girl" Rick Springfield but that is an awesome song. I love it. </i><br />
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That is all for me today folks. Keep on loving each other and keep on dancing.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-32499132640283936412014-02-04T08:46:00.001-08:002014-02-04T08:46:53.745-08:00Tuesday Tunes<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Are Tuesdays supposed to be worse than Mondays? I am feeling groggy this morning. Really feeling like I am having a hard time getting things going.<br />
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Lightning's Hand - Kansas<br />
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<i>American prog rock at its best and a band that has a far bigger discography then you would think if you only listened to their radio hits. Give them a look. </i><br />
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My brain seems to be pretty blank today. I just finished watching a surfing film about three girls from Australia called First Love. I think that if I had kids and for daughters I would want them to watch this film. I watched it on Netflix streaming but there several other options and the website details them all. It is well worth a look. <a href="http://firstlovethefilm.com/">First Love</a><br />
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Brown Eyed Woman - Grateful Dead (Europe 72)<br />
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<i>This is a great song from an overall great live performance. The Dead are a far better band then you thought they were. Look beyond the hippies and the drugs and really listen to the music. I think you will not be disappointed. </i><br />
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I miss riding my skateboard. In high school from about 10th grade to the end of my senior year I rode my board to school everyday. I wasn't any kind of good as far as I am concerned but I always had fun and I always enjoyed the act of just cruising along. It was, for me, more about the act of riding along and going up hills and down them and carving around sometimes sliding along curbs. I only ever ollied once.<br />
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It wasn't something that I could ever pull off. The first board I had was a Powell Steve Steadham.<br />
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I loved it. It is kind of funny to look at now because that board is so much bigger than the boards of today and I used it totally for street skating and today it would be more like a ramp board. But I was very happy with it. That was a simpler time and I have some good memories of rides with friends after school. This was long before Salem had any skate park of any sort and now both Salem and Keizer have decent ones.<br />
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Piano Man - Billy Joel<br />
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<i>This is probably the most well known of his hits. I think that some people are probably tired of it. I always enjoy it when it pops up. I once did a horrible karaoke version of this. I wish I could find the people in the bar and apologize to them for that.</i><br />
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It is a short post today folks. If I write anything else it is just going to be me trying to create something artificial to write about and that is something that I am trying not to do. <b>So keep it real out there. Live in the moment, hug your friends and family and keep on dancing. </b><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-56597167827394608862014-02-03T08:10:00.000-08:002014-02-03T08:10:10.551-08:00Monday Music and Musings<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Good Monday to you my friends....<br />
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Analog Kid - Rush<br />
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<i>This is a classic Rush song and one that I always enjoy. Though to be fair I have to admit that I enjoyed Rush more when I unaware of the political leanings of their main lyricist N. Peart. I suppose I should be charitable because of his age when he wrote most of their music. But anyway this is still a pretty great song. </i><br />
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I hope the day is finding you well and that you are recovering for yesterdays festivities. I know that often the Super Bowl is the most watched even of the entire year. I would love to see a study done as to how many people miss the Monday after the big game. I suspect that the offices in most of greater Seattle are going to be pretty empty today. I would imagine that a good chunk of Denver will be empty as well but probably out of sadness rather then recovery from the happiness. I have watched nearly all the Super Bowls since I was 10 or 11 and I can't recall anything ever being that bad. I was shocked. I don't Seattle is that good but I never thought of Denver as bad either.<br />
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Magic - Ben Folds Five<br />
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<i>A great song by the Ben Folds Five. I love basically everything Ben Folds and the Ben Folds Five has ever done. </i><br />
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So I suppose I should address something that happened yesterday that for me was far more impacting than anything that happened in the Super Bowl and that was the death of Philip Seymour Hoffman. It isn't unusual for me to get emotional about something. I am not afraid to show my emotions. I wear them on my sleeve and my open face and anyone who knows me knows that over the stretch of time they are going to see me either laugh loudly and openly and they will see me with tears in my eyes. This is the reality of my being.<br />
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Rod Stewart - Maggie May<br />
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<i>I do not listen to a lot of Rod Stewart and this song is coming from a film soundtrack. I believe it is Almost Famous. But it is a great song. I really should check out the rest of his music because I do love this song.</i><br />
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But, while I am emotional I usually do not react to the deaths of famous people that I do not know. I just never have. I am not sure why. I suppose on some logical level I never knew them and they did not know me and so why get worked up about it. But it wasn't like I was making a choice to not be emotional of these events I just wasn't. What was odd about yesterday was as news began to pop up on Facebook and different people begin sharing links to news articles about Philip Seymour Hoffman being found I began to find myself getting sad.<br />
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The Angels Are Singing In Heaven Tonight - Ralph Stanley II<br />
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<i>A great bluegrass number and a nice thought. </i><br />
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I cried for the death of a very talented man and I cried at the memories I have of his many wonderful performances and of the many films that he has been in that have been a big part of my life as a lover of cinema. I am not going to speculate as to the nature of his death. We all have demons and we all handle them in different ways. But I am saddened by and I miss him. It is very hard for me to pin down a favorite film or performance of his that I liked better than any others but I think that for me my top 5 Philip Seymour Hoffman performances in now real particular order are.<br />
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Almost Famous<br />
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The Big Lebowski<br />
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Pirate Radio<br />
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The Master<br />
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Magnolia<br />
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There are many more but for me those are the performances that I think of when I think of him and his acting. I am sad that he is gone and I will be revisiting these films again soon.<br />
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I do not know what else to say. It may be uncool of me to be sad about this and so be it. I am going to sit her and be uncool. I think I am in pretty good company.<br />
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See you tomorrow. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-46812562337806889672014-01-30T07:36:00.001-08:002014-01-30T07:36:49.173-08:00Thursday Thoughts....<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The subconscious is an interesting thing. I always dream but I do not always remember my dreams. Some are for sure more vivid then others and last night was one of those dreams.<br />
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You Can Make Me Free - Billy Joel<br />
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I was with a friend that I have known for several years and we were hanging out at some sort of coffee shop but it wasn't one I was familiar with. It honestly felt like we were in Sweden but I am not sure why it felt that way. She was studying and I was just kind of hanging out. At one point I got up to go look into another part of the coffeeshop because a friend of ours was supposed to be over there. They were not and when I came back there was this kind of odd old man that was kind of bothering her.<br />
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I'm All Right - Kenny Loggins (Caddyshack Version)<br />
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So I sat back down but this time my chair had moved close to hers. There was kind of a time leap and our chairs were even closer and then a leap again and I was sitting sideways and she was leaning against my shoulder and we were still in our chairs. It filled me with a sense of peace and calmness. There was nothing romantic or sexual about this. It was just nice. We were just resting together in this public place but with a level of connection that was greater than usual. Everything felt good and right.<br />
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Reasons For Waiting - Jethro Tull<br />
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The comfortableness became almost a tiredness to the point of I felt the need to put my head on her shoulder and I did so with ease and that was nice as well as she rested her head against mine. Then time and space shifted again and we were walking through Silver Creek Falls. I knew that for a fact. We strolled and chatted about many different things. It didn't seem to matter what the subject was at all. It was just us strolling and talking with apparent ease on many different subjects.<br />
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One More Time - Hammerfall<br />
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After a while her father appeared and we walked with him for awhile. He told us a story about a young boy who had died in a car accident. The boy had been seven and her father was very upset by this. The boy was not related to anyone as far as I could tell and I remember thinking that while it was sad I didn't understand why her father was upset to the point of tears about it. It also appeared that her father was running the retreat center of the campground and soon he and his wife had to leave to go pay their taxes in California. Then time shifted again and her husband was there walking with us and her father was gone.<br />
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One And Only - Adele<br />
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The three of us walked for awhile and I remember us walking through a parking lot and I could see my van sitting their. Again walking together it was totally comfortable and there was no awkwardness of any kind. Things just felt right and natural and normal with no stress of any kind. In fact the only stress was that I saw their red truck in the distance and I knew that the conversation was going to have to end and I wanted to prolong it and I woke up. I woke up refreshed and rested and the memory of the dream still vividly in my head.<br />
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Self Inflicted - Katy Perry<br />
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That is the story of my dream. I share that because I found it interesting and I do enjoy thinking about what my dreams mean. Though in this case I can't imagine it meaning anything but good things. It did not leave me with any feeling other then good and comfortableness. It was a nice to have a nice dream and too remember that dream as well. If anything it has left me feeling very inspired to have a good day. So that is something to look forward too. I am also super happy with how the playlist turned out today. All random from my music machine and I have to tell you that I think they all work so well together. I love it when that kind of thing seems to happen.<br />
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The Cave - Mumford and Sons<br />
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I love you guys and I hope that you guys can have a great day. Take a deep breath. Text a friend. Call a friend. Hug a friend. Keep on dancing and keep up loving each other. You won't regret it.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-44739480926730832972014-01-29T08:00:00.000-08:002014-01-29T08:00:06.632-08:00Wednesday<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Well, yesterday was a struggle but I managed to stay awake for most of the day and I am feeling pretty good today. I got a solid 1 am to 7 am sleep session and that is pretty much what my body needs to keeps itself on its natural schedule. So that is a good thing.<br />
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Valley - Tramped By Turtles<br />
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My music player sometimes seems to know just what I need to get things started. I love this song.<br />
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Yesterday was an interesting day. I spent a good chunk of the day in a fog because of the lack of sleep. So it was odd. I felt very off but at the same time functional.<br />
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Drowned - The Who<br />
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The intro into 'I am the Sea' off of the classic Who album Quadrophenia. You can never go wrong with this one.<br />
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I watched the State of the Union address last night. I always enjoy listening to the President speak even if it is a President that I am not a particular fan of. In the case of President Obama I was far more excited about him when he was first elected then I am now. But I am also well aware that I am operating at a certain level of frustration dealing with the federal govt and Congress right now because of their decision to end emergency unemployment. President Obama addressed that issue last night but I am not going to be holding my breath. Because even if they reinstate it I doubt I will be getting back pay and I am still going to be behind on some of my bills because of the their being no money of any kind coming in at all. But the job search continues. I applied for a job at the Oregon Lottery yesterday.<br />
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A World Of Our Own - The Seekers<br />
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A classic late 60's number. I like it.<br />
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I also watched the latest episode of the television show Justified last night and that show just seems to be getting better and better as far as I am concerned. The first 4 seasons are available on Amazon Streaming right now and if you have not ever watched it I would highly recommend it. If you are a fan of Elmore Leonard novels or police or detective stories I do not think you can go wrong with this one.<br />
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Mother of Light (A New Age Dawns pt 2) - Epica<br />
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One of my beloved Northern European metal bands. Except for these guys are Dutch. I love them.<br />
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I really feel like I am reaching for these to write about this morning. It feels like one of those days that I want to sit quietly in my room with the light off and sip my coffee while I listen to music with my eyes closed. I imagine that is how I am going to be spending part of the day for sure. I suppose that sounds depressing to some of you. But that isn't what it is. It is for me a way to just kind of calm myself and feel centered and anchored as part of the existing world around me. I am not being distracted by the latest television show or video game but am able to just sit quietly and breath. Thoughts may come and go but I do not dwell on those thoughts. They rise and sink but I continue to sit quietly and breath. That is for me, often, the best way to get myself back on track so to speak.<br />
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Beth - Kiss<br />
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I love this acoustic version of the song Beth by Kiss. One of my favorites.<br />
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Well, that is is for today folks. The darkness is calling for me with its calm and its solitude. Keep those feet moving and keep on loving each other and try to remember that despite our politics we are all human and all deserving of a little pleasantness. Be kind to each other.<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-29424917129831464672014-01-28T05:59:00.002-08:002014-01-28T05:59:23.487-08:00Tuesday...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Good morning folks. I believe that I had three hours of sleep last night. I think. I am not sure what is going on with me but I tried to fall asleep around 11:30 or so and I was wide awake again about 2:45 or so. I imagine that today is going to be a rough one.<br />
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Man Alive - Billy Talent<br />
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This is a fast one to start us off today. I like Billy Talent and they are an example of what I think of as good music and the kind of music that often gets ignored in the entertainment industry of today.<br />
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I have been sleeping well lately so I am not sure what the issue is. I do know that there are times when I am unable to shake the worry and I think last night was one of those nights. I just lie there in bed and I worry. I couldn't get myself together enough to even meditate and mellow myself out. It was just a night of laying there in the darkness with my thoughts and I often would rather not do that. I would rather sleep when it is time for me to sleep. It benefits nothing and nobody least of all myself for me to lay there in the darkness and have the thoughts swirl around in my head.<br />
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I 4 U & U 4 Me - The Decemberists<br />
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This is a home demo version of the song and I really like it. But then I like everything that they do.<br />
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Perfect World - Billy Talent<br />
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This is from their 2nd album and a song that I really dig.<br />
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I find myself sitting here with my head tilted slightly to one side. My mind is blank as I listen to the music and try to hear a voice inside myself tell me what to write. I am waiting patiently for the voice to tell me what is okay to share with you and what is not okay for me to share. But it really feels like right now the vault is empty. There seems to be a slight echo in there. The wind whistles as it blows mournfully around the room and nothing is there to fill the emptiness. The walls are metal and grey. The floor is concrete and made shiny from the constant use and movement of the different baggage that has filled the room and been moved in and out at different times. I can only imagine that the room will be filled again one day but right now it sits empty and barren.<br />
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Sudden Movements - Billy Talent<br />
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This one is off of their 3rd album and another song that I think is great as far as I am concerned.<br />
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I sip my thermos of coffee and wonder what is going to fill the room. I don't think that it is necessarily good or bad that the room is empty. I am just not used to the room being empty. It does feel nice to not be on the verge of tears. But I never know one way or the other if that will change or if I am going to watch something that makes me tear up. I watched the wedding episode of the BBC's Sherlock Holmes last Sunday night and during the best man speech by Sherlock I totally was in tears. So I suppose one day without tears is nothing special. Though it does say something about my state of mind for the last 9 months that a day without crying is a notable thing.<br />
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Pocketful of Dreams - Billy Talent<br />
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The random machine is really locked in today. I do not mind though. I am really digging all of these songs.<br />
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I am not going to speculate about what the lack of tears means at all. It isn't worth it and I have no idea what the end result will be. It sometimes feels a curse to be as self aware as I am. I question my every emotion or intention. I think that is why I strive for daily zen and daily living on a moment to moment basis because then I am not questioning my very existence or being. It just gets tiresome to go through it on a regular basis. I do not think that self examination is a bad thing but I think that you can do to much of it and that can be a problem.<br />
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Brother - Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros<br />
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I like this band a lot and it wouldn't hurt for you to track them down if you like this song.<br />
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I watched a film from 1997 this morning called 'Bongwater'. It is an odd little film. It stars Luke Wilson and Jack Black and Andy Dick and Amy Locane and Alicia Witt and the late Brittney Murphy. It is based on a book of the same name that I haven't read and set in Portland, Or and New York City. It is just such an odd little film and a film that I feel like I used to enjoy years and years ago. I imagine that it was because it has Jack Black in it and he does a version of a Tenacious D song called "Jesus Ranch" and I was a serious fan of Tenacious D and pot and this movie had both. But other then that. It is really kind of an odd film. The story is kind of incoherent and at times the characters can be frustratingly unlikable. I feel like it comes from an odd time in film. The late 90's seems to have been infested with these kind of cheap knockoff ensemble films and I imagine it is Richard Linkletters fault now that I verbalize it.<br />
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Sorry - Trampled by Turtles<br />
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A great song by a great band.<br />
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I am not sure what I am going to be doing today. I may make an appearance at the coffeehouse since I am going to be up and around. Though I am have been trying to be careful with what little money that I have. So we shall see. Have a good day today folks and as always <b>Keep On Dancing and Hug Someone Today. </b><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04973448750714819716noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16809640.post-36680877907352379602014-01-27T08:20:00.002-08:002014-01-27T08:20:34.022-08:00Monday Musings<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It is Monday morning and the mental fog is in full effect but with every sip of my coffee I can feel the fog lifting away and that my friends is a good thing. I watched the Grammys last night. Or to be clear I watched part of the Grammys and then I looked for clips online of the performances because, lets be honest, CBS really does suck and they do not know how to put on a decent live show to save their lives. The Grammys are a perfect example of that. They took a music show and rather then just show it live and let people enjoy all of the crazy and the power and emotion that live music can bring they put it on a two hour recorded tape delay on the west coast. Pretty lame CBS, pretty lame. That and boy does LL Cool J suck now. He has become the harmless friendly black man that CBS and old people just love. It makes me weep and long for the days of Chuck D and the anger of Public Enemy. It was a pretty pathetic effort from all concerned except for the bands that were actually performing and CBS did all they could to mess that up as well.<br />
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We Float - PJ Harvey<br />
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I love what PJ Harvey does with music. I do not listen to her all of the time but when I do I always am happy that I did.<br />
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It isn't that I am surprised that CBS screwed the pooch on this one. They always seem to do it. But I am surprised that they even bother. Maybe they were afraid of competing with Downton Abby or something.<br />
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Make You Feel My Love - Adele<br />
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This is a beautiful song. Just lovely.<br />
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I know that I have been staying away from the typical these things suck all of the time posts but I felt like I had to at least mention the Grammys. I would have been doing a disservice to music in general if I tried to act like what happened last night was okay. Because it was not. It was just bad. But I am over it. What else is going on?<br />
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Summer Boy - Lady Gaga<br />
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Why was this song not a bigger hit? Odd. It seems to fit right in her style window. Though I could argue that this was written for Gwen Stefani. It sure sounds like it.<br />
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I went to the Wizard World Comic Con with my brother in Portland this weekend and it was fun. But it was interesting and far more about popular nerd and geek culture and being an obsessed fan then it was about comic books. I love television and movies but I am not going to pay upwards of $25 to say hello to a celebrity who is not going to remember who I am among the 500 other fans that they met that day. There were lots of people who seemed to love doing it and that is great for them but I just can't get excited about doing that. It is nice to see what those people look like in person as opposed to on the television or the movie screen. But other than that I do not care if they are there. I would much rather just get a book signed by the author or artist who drew it. I think my position is in the minority though.<br />
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My Weakness - Moby<br />
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Awesome song.<br />
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I did enjoy seeing the various cosplayers though. It is always fun to see the different costumes that people wear at such an event. Some people put some real effort into their costumes and others put in less. But that is the nature of things and sometimes ones passion overrides ones ability to actually create the item that they are trying to replicate. That being said. It was still very cool to see and made me wish that I was that passionate about some things in my life. I do not know what that would be though but I suppose how I feel about the Portland Timbers comes pretty close. I do dress up for the matches after all.<br />
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I Saw A Man - Johnny Cash<br />
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Believer or not, this is a good song..<br />
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That is it for today. Time to apply for some more jobs. Maybe I will be able to catch at least an interview, at this point getting an interview at least feels like success. Have a good Monday folks. Give your friends and family a hug and keep on dancing.<br />
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