One day down, another day has began. Just keep moving or if I take the advice from "Finding Nemo" I need to just keep swimming. The trouble is that today. Today, I don't really feel much like swimming. I feel staying in one place. I feel like being totally, completely, needy and sucking the emotions from my friends.
But I also feel like being completely alone. No phone calls, no visiting and not venturing out into the cruel eye of the sun today. It is bright and beautiful and blue out there and far to pretty for the gloom that want to vent. I know that she was 93 years old and that she had been getting weaker and weaker and I know all of the rational things that I need to be telling myself. But they are not working. I know some of you may not want to listen to Lance moan about this. But those of you who know me also know that this is how I vent and process so you are kind of stuck. You can read it or not. That is up to you.
What is up to me, is me trying to process what I am dealing with and doing it in such way that I am still a functioning member of society. I do not see any reason why that can't happen but it may take few days to get myself back on track so to speak.
It occurs to me that this blog and the music videos may cause people some concern. Rest assured that I am not feeling suicidal. I am just sad and sad for me takes some pretty dark turns because most of the time I am not a particularly sad person. So no worries and if you want to comment or text me. I always read them.
1 comment:
Something few people understand until they go through it is that grief is just as traumatic and requires healing just as much as physical trauma. If you broke an arm, everyone would understand your pain, your limited ability to function, and your need to recover. That's just part of injury.
Grief is injury to the soul, and takes time to heal from. There are treatments that can help (listening to good music, love of family, etc) but nothing makes the damage go away except time and healing. It just takes time, and some traumas take longer than others.
And some leave scars that never go away.
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