A good friend of mine is gone. He decided to kill himself, leaving behind a wife and a dog and grieving parents and sister as well as numerous extended family and friends and me. He was well liked. In all the time I knew him in both a working and friendship capacity I had never heard anyone have anything bad to say about him.
He lived in my basement for a year or so maybe longer, but all I can really say is that I liked having him there. I liked smoking a pipe with him now and then. I liked watching the world cup on television while his sister made us scotch eggs. I liked sitting in the backyard with him by the fire pit. I liked training mixed martial arts with him. I liked drinking scotch and cigars in the garage. I just liked being with him. I liked being in his wedding. I liked going to see Flogging Molly with him. I liked going to see him at Red Lobster and telling him that I loved his sister and knowing that he was ok with it. I liked that he understood the importance of Fight Club in my life. I liked that he understood the importance of literature and music and coffee and booze in the world. I liked working with him at the movie theater. I liked meeting him in Portland to play disc golf. I liked meeting him for beers. I liked that he liked Johnny Cash. I liked that even after my divorce I was still friends with him.
I like that when I think of him I think of this song.
I will miss him. He was a good friend to me and my life is going to be worse off without him in it.
I like to think he is with Johnny Cash now.
I am sorry you are gone. I am sorry I couldn't do enough to keep you here. I will miss you. You were like a brother to me and I loved you.
He lived in my basement for a year or so maybe longer, but all I can really say is that I liked having him there. I liked smoking a pipe with him now and then. I liked watching the world cup on television while his sister made us scotch eggs. I liked sitting in the backyard with him by the fire pit. I liked training mixed martial arts with him. I liked drinking scotch and cigars in the garage. I just liked being with him. I liked being in his wedding. I liked going to see Flogging Molly with him. I liked going to see him at Red Lobster and telling him that I loved his sister and knowing that he was ok with it. I liked that he understood the importance of Fight Club in my life. I liked that he understood the importance of literature and music and coffee and booze in the world. I liked working with him at the movie theater. I liked meeting him in Portland to play disc golf. I liked meeting him for beers. I liked that he liked Johnny Cash. I liked that even after my divorce I was still friends with him.
I like that when I think of him I think of this song.
I will miss him. He was a good friend to me and my life is going to be worse off without him in it.
I like to think he is with Johnny Cash now.
I am sorry you are gone. I am sorry I couldn't do enough to keep you here. I will miss you. You were like a brother to me and I loved you.
2 comments:
I'm so sorry for your loss, Lance. It really sucks being the one left behind to ask things like 'why?' and 'how could you do this to me, after all we've been through?'
In the end, suicide is a selfish and self-absorbed thing.
It was not your fault. It was not their fault. You did all you could, even though it will take a long time for you feel that way. Do not let his decision make you question your worth as a human and a friend.
It sucks, brother, it really does. One day the hurt will diminish.
Sorry Lance,
Thinking of you - take care of yourself. You be selfish if you need too and make sure you get what you need - emotional support. Do what comforts you, wear your favorite t-shirt or blanket, put on your favorite TV show, movie, music etc.... It takes time to process and it is exhausting. Make sure you eat even if you don't feel like it. If you need to talk...about anything/nothing let me know.
~Sarah
Post a Comment