Tuesday Tunes

Are Tuesdays supposed to be worse than Mondays? I am feeling groggy this morning. Really feeling like I am having a hard time getting things going.

Lightning's Hand - Kansas

American prog rock at its best and a band that has a far bigger discography then you would think if you only listened to their radio hits. Give them a look. 

My brain seems to be pretty blank today. I just finished watching a surfing film about three girls from Australia called First Love. I think that if I had kids and for daughters I would want them to watch this film. I watched it on Netflix streaming but there several other options and the website details them all. It is well worth a look. First Love

Brown Eyed Woman - Grateful Dead (Europe 72)

This is a great song from an overall great live performance. The Dead are a far better band then you thought they were. Look beyond the hippies and the drugs and really listen to the music. I think you will not be disappointed.  

I miss riding my skateboard. In high school from about 10th grade to the end of my senior year I rode my board to school everyday. I wasn't any kind of good as far as I am concerned but I always had fun and I always enjoyed the act of just cruising along. It was, for me, more about the act of riding along and going up hills and down them and carving around sometimes sliding along curbs. I only ever ollied once.

It wasn't something that I could ever pull off. The first board I had was a Powell Steve Steadham.

I loved it. It is kind of funny to look at now because that board is so much bigger than the boards of today and I used it totally for street skating and today it would be more like a ramp board. But I was very happy with it. That was a simpler time and I have some good memories of rides with friends after school. This was long before Salem had any skate park of any sort and now both Salem and Keizer have decent ones.

Piano Man - Billy Joel

This is probably the most well known of his hits. I think that some people are probably tired of it. I always enjoy it when it pops up. I once did a horrible karaoke version of this. I wish I could find the people in the bar and apologize to them for that.

It is a short post today folks. If I write anything else it is just going to be me trying to create something artificial to write about and that is something that I am trying not to do. So keep it real out there. Live in the moment, hug your friends and family and keep on dancing. 

Well All Right ...

Anyone of you that have read this blog in the past knows how much I enjoy music and knows how much it is an important part of my existence and its presence in my life has been  very helpful in times both good and bad. One of the things that brings me the most peace or pleasure depending on the mood I am in is when I can create a playlist to listen to in The Van.

I have a CD player in the their and that makes it pretty easy to burn things from my computer to disc. Though it would be sweet if I could get a system in their that lets me play MP3's. The playlists that I could make would be so awesome. But anyway, before I get to off track I wanted to share with you the latest and in some ways the most personal playlist that I have made in a long time. So please give it a listen, hopefully Youtube has all of these. and let me know if you enjoyed it or not.

Blind Faith - Can't Find My Home

Blind Faith - Well All Right

The Allman Brothers - Whipping Post

Too put it bluntly the last 3 nearly 4 years have been pretty shitty. Oh I am sure that there are plenty of people who have had it far worse and I am not claiming that my life is horrible. But there have been moments of time where things looked and felt pretty bleak. But I have some very, very good people around me and them along with the music that I can listen to has really made a difference as far as things go. There are times though when in the midst of whatever emotional dive I am in that things look pretty bad and I wonder what is the point. Sometimes the music helps pull me out of that and sometimes the music helps me to kind of swim through it. It is kind of hard to explain if you haven't been in the midst of that kind of emotional wave.

The Lumineers - Hey Ho

Lynrd Skynrd - Simple Man

Kansas - Carry On

There is not much to say about these songs. They bring me some comfort and some peace as I listen to them. They also bring me sorrow but it isn't a bad kind of sorrow. It is the reality of things gone that can never return but at the same time good memories of things that I wouldn't have traded for the world as well as relationships that have formed who I am today.

Montgomery Gentry - You Do Your Thing, I'll Do Mine

Lynrd Skynrd - Free Bird (Film "Devil's Rejects"

These are songs about being true to yourself. True to myself and experiencing this pain honestly and not numbing myself to it. But letting it flow through me and not letting it overwhelm me or define me but acknowledging its existence and trying to use it to make myself a better person on the far end of it. However long that takes and I have no idea at all how long it is going to take.

Neil Young - Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere

Neil Young - Old Man

Neil Young - Needle and the Damage Done

Neil Young - Running Dry

Sometimes you feel like you are at the end of your tether and these songs help me. I know that isn't the case for everyone but hearing someone put what feels like my feelings into words does amazing things for me. Through tears and sorrow can sometimes come cleansing and healing.

O' Death - Down To Rest

The White Stripes - One More Cup of Coffee

Ralph Stanley - Oh Death

Mumford n Sons - Whispers in the Dark

It is pretty obvious how this ends and it ends the same way for all of us. I can fight it and not be honest about it or I can acknowledge it and understand this is something that happens to all of us and just accept that. I think the older that I get the less fear there is of it. This will happen and I do not know when or how and that is fine with me. This playlist leaves me with a feeling of hope and I know that may not be the case for everyone and some of you may not like it at all. But I hope that you enjoyed at least some of the songs that are hear.

Fantastic Friday...

Is it really fantastic, Lance, is it? Well you don't have to be like that about it. I mean it is Friday after all. I suppose I could have called it "Freaky Friday" but it isn't that either. Can't you just be happy that I wrote something at all and gave you some fun music to listen to, isn't that enough for you? 

It Takes a Woman's Love - Kansas

This is a nice deeper cut of Kansas and for sure is a song that you are not going to hear very often on the radio. That is if you even listen to the radio at all. I suspect that my regular readers do not listen much to the radio. I try to make a point of listening to it now and then. But I really do not do it very much at all. I like discovering my own music or asking friends what they like to listen too.

Black Death 1349 - The Middle East

This is a band from Queensland, Australia and I really do like them. They just have a sound that I can just kind of sink my teeth into.

Open up and Bleed - Iggy and the Stooges

This is classic Iggy and the Stooges. So good. I really have to be in the right mood for me to fully enjoy this music. But when I am in the mood I just love it. I love that he had such a close friendship with David Bowie and that he has such an odd presence in popular culture.

The Magic Flute (Queen of the Night aria) - Niobeth

Here is a classical Mozart piece but done in metal style. Just sit back and feel your mind get blown at its power and majesty.

I know that most of you were just not mentally equipped enough to handle the power of that musical piece. Maybe the next one will be more to your liking but I doubt it. Because nobody rocks as hard as Big Lance!! NOBODY!!

Lightening Strikes twice - Iron Maiden

Yes, yes, yes. There is nothing better then Iron Maiden at their finest and while this isn't their finest it is still pretty good.

Holiday - Bee Gees

There we go. Lets end things on a nice mellow note with a classic Bee Gees song. These guys were so much more then the soundtrack to Saturday Night Fever. It is unfortunate that the popularity of that film and soundtrack kind of overshadowed the entire musical catalogue of this band.

I hope you enjoyed todays music.

Random Thursday

Oh..my neck is sore today. I am feeling very groggy, I think the lack of sleep has finally started to catch up to me. I imagine a crash will be coming soon.

Picky Bugger - Elbow

It has been a pretty rough few weeks since Eric left us. I supper pretty rough doesn't do it justice at all. It feels like things have gone totally off of the rails or I suppose I should say that things are barely on the rails and it is taking most if not all of my focus to stay on the track and even then I am not sure that I can keep things on the track long term. There are fleeting moments of laughter but even that takes place in kind of a grey flatness and I am not sure who to even describe what that means. If you have been there then I suppose you know.

Liar - Queen

It is easy for me to start to feel acutely alone right now. On an intellectual level I totally realize that it makes no sense for me to feel that way and that I do have a lot of friends around me. But on an emotional level the intellectual just gets wiped out. The lack of predictability of the mood swings is almost maddening to me. There are moments during the day that I feel actually pretty good or I will be with someone and they are a good enough distraction that I am able to shut out the clamoring chorus of "Why" and "How Come". But I can't be around people 24/7 and the moments when I am laying in the dark and trying to actually get some sleep is when the voices seem loudest.

A Life For Revenge - Dark Moor

I have some really, really good friends that are doing all that they can to keep me busy and that means a lot to me. I think that in some ways actually in many ways I am scared to fully let myself go and experience the grief of this whole thing. I am scared as to what the end result will be of it. So because I am trying to keep everything totally locked down and only releasing the valve in fits and spurts I feel like I have a little bit of control over this. I fear that if I fully release things I may not be able to close the valve back up and I do not know how deep the reservoir is and I don't know what happens if I empty that.

The Educated Fool - Iron Maiden

 As usual I honestly do not know what any of this means. I am hoping that by writing I am able to achieve a little bit of control over this process and I can let the pressure out in a more controlled less insane manner. I do not need to be clutching randomly at strangers or hanging all over my friends because I am desperately craving the touch of another living being. I know, once again, intellectually that this is not socially proper behavior at all . But it feels at times like there is a emotional beast raging inside of me that just wants me to hug everyone around me to let them know that they exist and I exist and there is realness to the physical contact. I want to make eye contact with them and to hold their hand and let them know that they have value to me. I want to absorb their sadness into myself and give them some freedom from it and the only way that I know how to do that is to be able to put my hands on them and sadly not everybody is comfortable with that.

Hope Once Again - Kansas

So I guess if you want a hug or are okay with some hand holding and potentially uncomfortable intimacy then feel free to look me up.

In case you weren't sure I am obviously the curly haired one with my back to the camera. 

Random Music Tuesday

I felt like I could do some random music from the music library today. So let's see if I can pull that off on an emotional level or not.

It's Raining Again - Supertramp- A classic 1982 Supertramp song and in listening to the lyrics it is actually pretty appropriate for the way things are right now. I know this rain will end, it is just really hard to hang on until it does.

Ugh....a crappy Blink 182 song. I will not share it. They suck so hard.

Straight From The Heart - Toto - Oh my dig that rocking bass line. I really have not actually listened to much Toto but this song isn't horrible.

Loner - Kansas - I guess it must be 80's day on the blog here today. This is not considered one of Kansas's greatest hits. But it is actually a pretty good song. I like the main guitar riff and the chorus is pretty listenable as well.

Who Needs Sleep - Barenaked Ladies - I saw these guys once in concert and it was a fun show. They are a decent band and enjoyable live. I know that they still have fans but I think their moment in the sun has passed.

I've Just Gotta Get A Message - Bee Gees - Huh....interesting


I just wanted to take a moment and that those of you who are my regular readers and who have stuck around during all of the scary emotions that I have been putting on display. I am not promising an end to that, because I am an emotional being and I am striving to be able to feel free enough to put myself out their emotions and all. I think that for me to do that it is just healthier for me.

That being said, after a pretty rough weekend, today is a good day so far. The sun is out and that has helped me. I know that in the last two weeks I have spent more time outside and in the sun then I ever have before. I really think that has helped. I haven't forgotten anything and I never will. But I also am never going to forget the love of my friends and family and the amount of people out their who really do genuinely care for me. This has also brought more people into my circle that I love fiercely and that I hope to be a part of their lives for a long time.

  

Music

Music sometimes or I should say often says more than I can say and in a more eloquent manner. So here is some music for you.