It appears that there may be some initial resistance to my plan to replace the world's economy with Hugs. I heard from one Commentator Joel who absolutely refused to Hug a Hipster. Now I can respect that position because after all who would really want to Hug a Hipster. But I am unable to allow for any potential destabilizing of my chosen method of payment. The economy must stay strong and the power and value of the Hug must be inviolate. So therefor I decree that from the day of the beginning of my Theocracy all Hipsters will be done away with. Their presence and the fact that most people are not willing to or want to Hug them will do irreversible damage to my economic system.
We will just relocate them to a Hipster enclave. I am thinking Portland or Seattle because the mild weather will make it easier on them and they seem to thrive in the damp weather. Almost like mold really. But never fear. In the enclave the Hipster will be fed and allowed out daily to exercise. They will be allowed to listen to the latest albums from the hottest indy bands that haven't even been signed yet and in some cases do not even have an album to listen to. They will be allowed a long debate time each day as well as two hours each day to correct errors on the Internet about their favorite bands and films. But I will not allow the drinking of Pabst Blue Ribbon. It is not needed and will only serve to prolong the scourge of Hipster-ism upon the land.
Trust me in this. We will not be truly free until Hipsters are done away with. I tell you upon that glorious day. The sun will shine and the birds shall sing. All will be right with the earth. Now join me in a group Hug as we concentrate upon the gradual removal of the Hipster. My will be done.
Showing posts with label Portland Hipster. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Portland Hipster. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
4-19-2010 (Monday)
My friends and I went to the Portland Timbers game this weekend. It was opening game for this season as well as the last opening day for the Timbers in this league. Because next season is their first season in Major League Soccer (MLS). It was a great opening day. My buddy Nick and I have season tickets and they are in the third row right on the 48 yard line. So it was a fun evening overall.
But what I wanted to address in today's post was the fans at the game. The Timbers have a pretty rabid fan base. The game was sold out with a little over 15K people now when the team starts MLS next season the stadium will have been renovated and should be holding closer to 30K I believe. I just hope that we can continue to fill it. I think that Portland as a city and the parts of Oregon that surround it can pull in those kind of numbers. I know there are some non-believers out there and that is fine. But to them I say we will not know until we try. So I think it is a good move on the part of the Timbers ownership as well as the Portland city council to go for this chance.
But the best part of the day for me was seeing my friend's Travis and Andrew and Nick and then playing "Hipster Slug" (Copyrighted) "I own that so none you trolls better steal it. If you do at least send the traffic my way please." So anyway I am sure most of you are familiar with slug bug. Well this is a variant of that. Now I realize that most large city's have a fair share of their own hipsters but I think Portland seems to attract a special sub-set of hipsters.
So I thought lets play that and promptly punched Nick when I saw one. Well that was fun but honestly after a very little bit. Between the punching of Nick and him punching me back and Travis having a good eye for hipsters and lets be honest in certain parts of Portland you can't throw a can of PBR without hitting a hipster and they seem particularly drawn to the Timbers games. Well my arm was getting sore and there never seemed to be an end to them. They just kept coming and coming. They were always there around every corner with their tattoos and their black rimmed glasses and their smoking. It was like a zombie movie except the zombies had been replaced by hipsters.
As the Timbers season progress's I will be giving you more updates about the season and I think I will begin tagging hipsters Marlin Perkins style. I think it will benefit all of us to keep track of their movements around Portland. At the very least it may benefit the numerous coffee roasters in the area.
But what I wanted to address in today's post was the fans at the game. The Timbers have a pretty rabid fan base. The game was sold out with a little over 15K people now when the team starts MLS next season the stadium will have been renovated and should be holding closer to 30K I believe. I just hope that we can continue to fill it. I think that Portland as a city and the parts of Oregon that surround it can pull in those kind of numbers. I know there are some non-believers out there and that is fine. But to them I say we will not know until we try. So I think it is a good move on the part of the Timbers ownership as well as the Portland city council to go for this chance.
But the best part of the day for me was seeing my friend's Travis and Andrew and Nick and then playing "Hipster Slug" (Copyrighted) "I own that so none you trolls better steal it. If you do at least send the traffic my way please." So anyway I am sure most of you are familiar with slug bug. Well this is a variant of that. Now I realize that most large city's have a fair share of their own hipsters but I think Portland seems to attract a special sub-set of hipsters.
So I thought lets play that and promptly punched Nick when I saw one. Well that was fun but honestly after a very little bit. Between the punching of Nick and him punching me back and Travis having a good eye for hipsters and lets be honest in certain parts of Portland you can't throw a can of PBR without hitting a hipster and they seem particularly drawn to the Timbers games. Well my arm was getting sore and there never seemed to be an end to them. They just kept coming and coming. They were always there around every corner with their tattoos and their black rimmed glasses and their smoking. It was like a zombie movie except the zombies had been replaced by hipsters.
As the Timbers season progress's I will be giving you more updates about the season and I think I will begin tagging hipsters Marlin Perkins style. I think it will benefit all of us to keep track of their movements around Portland. At the very least it may benefit the numerous coffee roasters in the area.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)