Torrid Tuesday....

I am not sure what that even means but it is hot today. Actually now that I think about it, I am not even sure if the word Torrid applies. Lets check out the dictionary definition shall we. Well according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary the definition is "Parched with heat especially of the sun" and is an adjective. So I guess that it works. What is funny to me is that when I think of the word Torrid I think of a romance novel of some sort. You know the type the shirtless and well muscled hero holding the female protagonist who has fainted or is feeling the vapors or some such thing. Also her bodice is probably ripped open so that her heaving bosom can be seen.

Just like that one. But I wonder, just like the lady is, what happened to that mans pants. He must be cold and I would think that the hay would be scratchy on his exposed legs. But maybe he is just manly enough to handle it.

Drop Dead Legs - Van Halen

That seemed an appropriate song given the picture. I hope you all agree. I am a little concerned with myself right now because I seem to have stumbled upon a treasure trove of romance novel covers that some witty person has added their own captions too. I may be in a bit of trouble here but I do not thing I am going to be able to resist sharing some of them with you.

I am not sure that this is really the correct book title but I applaud it.

Master of the Wind - Manowar

A book cover like that deserves to have some masterful metal behind it. In fact as I think about it, perhaps more books should come with a themed soundtrack.

I am pretty sure that there is some symbolism at work here but I just can't put my finger on it. I am not sure that I could even grab it with both hands because I am sure that it is probably some pretty large symbolism, probably large and hard...to figure out.

Rising Power - AC/DC

Something is rising on that album cover all right and I think it would probably make me kind of uncomfortable.

Well I think I am going to have to stop there. I hope you all got a little laugh out of todays post. I know I amused myself and honestly that is all that I really care about. 

It's A Wild & Wanton Tuesday

So I imagine most of us are familiar with 'Pride and Prejudice' at least in book form or in film. It has been around in one form or the other since 1813. That is pretty amazing and it really shows the overall staying quality of the storytelling. That being said the picture that I have shown above in a newer edition of the story that was recently shown to me by my snarky friend Grant. Well not shown to me because why would he have purchased such a piece of contrived crap. But, he posted a picture of it on his Facebook in what I am sure was an effort to upset me. Well it worked.

This is a version of 'Pride and Prejudice' that has hot, hot, sex added to it. I am not sure because I have not actually read this version. It isn't that I am a prude and believe me I have no problem with people reading romance novels. Their is a fine tradition of erotica in literature. The written word has been around a long time and far longer then film or photography. But why in the world do you need, does anyone need to take a classic novel and sex it up.

This is the blurb on the back cover

"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife . . . in bed. Unfortunately, we've never been able to see Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam in flagrante delicto—until now.

In this deliciously naughty updating of the beloved classic, you can peek behind the closed doors of Pemberley's sexiest master bedroom—and revel in the sexual delights of your favorite couple.

From first kiss to orgasmic finish, this book is every Austen fan's dream come true—the story you love, with the heat turned up to high. It will come as no surprise that the dashing Mr. Darcy is as passionate and intense with his knickers off as he is with them on. And admit it, we've all wanted to see him sans knickers!"

You can almost feel the wink, wink, oh aren't we bad, nature of this writing. I do not know how many of this version they sold. The reviews of it on Amazon are a mix of single stars and a few 5 stars. But that really means nothing as to if a book is good or not.

I will freely admit to being a little bit of a book snob. But I am not nearly as bad as a few people I know. That being sad I am bothered when modern writers take a classic novel of any sort and try to "Enhance" it.

COME UP WITH YOUR OWN IDEAS YOU TALENTLESS HACKS!!!!!!!!

What you are doing is not clever. It is not clever when you add zombies to it or space aliens or anything else. If you want to write a book about zombies write a book about zombies. If you want to write erotica then write some erotica. What these other versions are is just bound and printed versions of the horrible fanfiction that is all over the internet. Believe me if you want your mind blown go ahead and take some time to read some of those "Enhanced" stories. Trust me when I tell you that you may never see some of your beloved entertainment characters the same way again.