Where Do My Readers Come From?

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

3-31-2010 (Wednesday)

I have dubbed today as Free Writing Wednesday. I am going to write for as long as possible and only going to be writing what pops into my head. I am not sure if this makes it any different then any other day except that I have given it a name.

And begin....I am not sure what to write about. I am really only thinking that know I need to write whatever pops into my head and so that is what is circling around in there. I hope I do not bore my usual readers with this exercise but I need to work on just writing down the thoughts as they pop into my head. I had dinner with my mother and father last night and that was pretty interesting. My mom had been going through some old cards and some stuff in the garage and she found a card from my Dad's mother. Who has died now. She found a card that Grandma had sent them when I was born. What was funny was when she opened it she found a $5 bill from 1963 inside of the card. They must have just put it back in and tucked it away. What I find even more interesting is that the card stayed with my parents after I was born until 2010. I was born in 1969 and soon after I was born I believe I was 2 my parents decided to become missionary school teachers and they were sent to Indonesia or more specifically, as I understand it, Papua, New Guinea. We lived there for about 2 years and then returned to the states. We also had lived in Pendleton, Oregon for awhile.

So it kind of blows my mind that my mother was able to keep this card for so long. I am not one for saving money but I think I may tuck this $5 bill away for awhile since it is the oldest money I own. That is all for today. I also want to add a quick thank you to Steve for his information about coffee machines on yesterdays post. Please check it out in the comments it is pretty interesting. Thanks Steve.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

3-30-2010 (Tuesday)

Tuesday morning and we are back at it. It looks like the rain has slowed down a little today and my drive to work was a little more relaxed. I heard some very interesting stories on the radio this morning.

The first was about a new coffee maker or coffee making machine being built in Seattle called Slayer and according to the report and what looks like info on their website it sells for a cool 18K. Yes you read that right. It cost $18 thousand. I really have no idea why it costs so much. I know of one person in my circle of friends who I think may have tried it. The only reason I think that is because he loves coffee and has tried lots of different kinds. So, I will see if I can prevail on him to join us in the comment section and let us know what or if the machine is worth the money.

The second thing that I heard was about cigarettes and Menthol. It seems that at some point either during the Obama administration or during the end of the Bush administration I do not recall the date. The federal government banned clove cigarettes. Now I know that some of my readers were alive when those were popular in the Salem area at least and I know of one or maybe two of you that actively smoked them. I remember that the kids that smoked cloves were always a little different then the rest of us. A little bit cooler and interested in different books and music then the rest of the herd. Well the ban on cloves came and went with out much of a stir. But, the attempted ban on Menthol cigarettes has not been so easy. One reason being that the market share of menthols is far greater then that of cloves. I do not smoke cigarettes any more and even when I did I would say I was not at all a regular smoker. I smoked an English brand called Export A. Well I was mistaken. It seems that the Export brand is actually made by a Japanese company and sold in Canada. Wow, who knew? But, I did smoke those for a little while but now I just smoke my pipe and even that I do not do very often. But, I love a good cup of coffee and a bowl of Vanilla Cavendish along with a book. But, I have not been able to partake of that lately. I may have to remedy that this evening I think.

That is all I really have today. I just found those stories interesting and I hope you did as well and maybe it will make you look up more information on them yourselves. I also am interested in seeing what type of advertising this blog post causes. I know my one about car insurance and health insurance caused car ads. I am wondering if this will cause coffee ads or perhaps some form of tobacco ad. We shall see.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Quote of the Day

"But my question is: do I have to decide between two of my least favorite residents of planet Earth? I mean, Glenn Beck is a posturing, money grubbing, anti science emotionalist and serial exaggerater. James Cameron has substituted special effects for real emotion and true thoughtfulness in a series of Hollywood blockbusters while proving to be a very poor husband to at least two women, one of whom whipped his butt at the Oscars and took home the Best Picture award that he craved but did not deserve for Avatar."

--Chris W.-- (Blog commenter)

3-29-2010 (Monday)

Happy Monday to my loyal readers. It is a wet one out there today. But the drive went pretty smoothly and I am starting to feel even more comfortable driving the new car. It really seems to handle the wet roads well and I only hit one possible hydro-plane spot which is a record. Because in the old car I was always feeling like I was on the verge of spinning out of control. To the extent that drives in the rain like this morning were almost white knuckle experiences and made we want to pull over and just wait it out.

Today on the way up to work they played a clip on the radio from a protest that took place in Nevada this weekend. It was a "Tea Party" protest directed at Harry Reid and put together by The Tea Party Express. It was an interesting piece because while it was on National Public Radio (NPR) it really seemed to be just about letting the people who were attending the event tell why they were there. Now for me. Even if I do not agree with what the people are saying. I think that far to often when it comes to news be it on television or the radio. That far to often we hear the opinion of the broadcaster or commentator rather then the reasons why the people are there from the people themselves. I find hearing from the people to be both far more interesting and more enlightening because you get a better idea as to what the common man is thinking.

I realize we are in a representative democracy and since we are it sometimes doesn't seem to matter what the common man is thinking. But, it sure feels like at any given time at least 50% of the country or a little bit more feels like they are not being heard. It is interesting to me because I remember during the last couple of years of the Bush administration, or even longer for me, I knew lots of people that felt like they were not being listened to. What has me a little bit bothered about this whole Tea Party movement is that it just feels so organized and any kind of dissatisfaction before was not so organized.

Now, that may just say more about the conservative versus the liberals and which group is better at really getting together and organizing a movement. There is also a more centralizing voice I feel for the conservatives in terms of both Fox News as well as talk radio. Now some would argue that the whole of mainstream media is a liberal strength. I would say that, while it may be true there is not a centralized voice for the liberals. They tried that with the whole Air America thing and it failed. I am not sure what that says about liberals but you would think that they could have supported a radio station that catered solely to their political positions. I realize that there are more complicated issues as well here and some are going to argue that MSNBC meets the need for liberal news. But, I think people are so varied in there positions that to try to direct a group of liberals is really a little bit like herding cats.

That is my two cents. Take it for what it is worth. I am also starting to get interested in what court cases are going to be popping up as this whole health care thing begins to build. I know that there are already several states that have filed suit or will file suits against the mandatory nature of the bill. I am awaiting with interest the end result of these suits and I think that they may do more for states rights then anything else in the last 100 years. So I hope things will grow more interesting as we move further into the future.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

3-25-2010 (Thursday)

I really do not have much today. I listened to NPR on the drive up this morning and I didn't hear anything that really got me fired up. I am sure, much like, that bumper sticker I saw a few years ago. "If you are not outraged. Then, you are not paying attention." I should probably be all fired up and foaming at the mouth about something.

But, I am feeling pretty mellow today. Maybe all of my effort to be zen like is starting to pay off. I am sure that will fade the next time I hear about a new Oliver Stone movie or some other stupid thing that Hollywood has done. But as of right now at this moment. I am feeling pretty mellow about stuff.

So have a good day folks and lets do all we can to maintain our calm.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

3-24-2010 (Wednesday)

Here we are Wednesday morning. The world still seems to be moving along. Did you know that we are actually never at rest that the world is always moving through space but we just do not feel it.

One of my favorite books floats the idea that the earth is on the back of four elephants that walk in a circle on the back of a giant sea turtle that swims through space. Also the world is flat like a disc. It is one of my favorite series of books. They are called "Discworld" and I have been reading them for a long time. So if you looking for some fantasy and some good humor along with sometimes a nice dose of satire or political commentary they are the books for you. I have enjoyed every one that I have read in one form or another. I also can say that I have never been disappointed by any of them. They are all written by Terry Pratchett

So what about you my loyal readers. Do you have any books or books series that you love? I would love to hear about them. Now there are some of my readers that I think I know what books and Authors they love. But, do not let that stop you. I want you to link them in the comments and I hope other readers can learn about some new books.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

3-23-2010 (Tuesday)

Well we have survived another day and now the fallout will begin from the health care issue. President Obama is supposed to sign it into law today. I am already wondering what the next big point of contention is going to be. The only thing that I do know for sure is that there is going to be one. But that being said a friend sent this yesterday and it made me laugh. I realize not all of you may find this amusing but such is the nature of humor. I realize it is making some pretty broad statements but I nonetheless found it amusing to me.

Monday, March 22, 2010

3-22-2010 (Monday)

   /ˈmændeɪt/ Show Spelled [man-deyt] Show IPA noun, verb,-dat·ed, -dat·ing.
a command or authorization to act in a particular way on a public issue given by the electorate to its representative: The president had a clear mandate to end the war.
a command from a superior court or official to a lower one.
an authoritative order or command: a royal mandate.
(in the League of Nations) a commission given to a nation to administer the government and affairs of a former Turkish territory or German colony.
a mandated territory or colony.
Roman Catholic Church. an order issued by the pope, esp. one commanding the preferment of a certain person to a benefice.
Roman and Civil Law. a contract by which one engages gratuitously to perform services for another.
(in modern civil law) any contract by which a person undertakes to perform services for another.
Roman Law. an order or decree by the emperor, esp. to governors of provinces.

"Mandate." Dictionary.com Unabridged. Random House, Inc. 22 Mar. 2010. .

There was a rather large event this weekend. One that generated a lot of heat on both sides of the political aisle. That issue was the reformation of health care. Now I am waiting to see what this all means in the long term. It seems that for the majority of those against it this heralds the beginning of "Socialism" in America and the end of our great nation. Those who are in favor of this seem to feel that this is evidence that "change" can happen and that America will finally have the health care system that they should.

I am not here to debate either of those points. Though if my readers want to, please feel free to do so in the comments section. What I would like to talk about is the word "Mandate". As I listened to and read and watched things pertaining to the Health Care debate of the last year. It seemed that one of the biggest objections for those opposed to it was that health insurance would be mandated. Now I live in Oregon and in Oregon car insurance is mandated.

"Oregon's mandatory insurance law ORS 806.010 requires every driver to insure their vehicle. The minimum liability insurance a driver must have is:

Type Amount
Bodily injury and property damage liability

$25,000 per person;
$50,000 per crash for bodily injury to others; and
$20,000 per crash for damage to the property of others

State law also requires every motor vehicle liability policy to provide:

Type Amount
Personal Injury Protection (for reasonable and necessary medical, dental and other expenses one year after a crash)

$15,000 per person
Uninsured Motorist Coverage

$25,000 per person;
$50,000 per crash for bodily injury

You must certify that you have this insurance each time you register a motor vehicle, or when you buy a light vehicle trip permit. You must also certify that you will comply with Oregon's motor vehicle insurance requirements as long as a vehicle is registered in your name, or for the duration of the permit.

Some motor vehicles are exempt from financial responsibility requirements. Those exemptions can be found in ORS 806.020."

Also in Oregon if you drive a motorcycle you must wear a helmet another mandatory law. Now one of the core ways that both of these laws were put into practice was the idea that uninsured motorists and helmetless drivers raise the cost for the rest of us if we mandate these things then the cost will eventually be kept lower. Now I was not around for the debate on those and I am not sure if that has been the case or not. But I wonder if the fight for mandating car insurance was a heated as the fight has been for health care. Now I know that in the case of car insurance the federal government has left it up to each state to decide the laws on car insurance. I believe that car insurance is mandated in each state. So I wonder what makes health insurance different then car insurance in this case. Is it strictly because cars are a machine and there isn't the emotional connect?

I know several states are already moving to file cases against a federal mandate for health insurance. I do not have a problem with that. I think states should have the ability to make their own laws. If New York wants to ban the use of table salt and they vote it through okay. That is how it works. Sometimes things will get voted on that we do not like but ideally then they can be revisited and changed. I did not mean to get sidetracked on that.

My main question is this one. What is the difference between mandating car insurance vs mandating health insurance? Are both equally bad? Would it be okay if each state was doing it on it's own? Is the problem that the Fed has mandated it and that goes against the Constitution? I really want to know what is the difference?

Friday, March 19, 2010

3-19-2010 (Friday)

It is Friday and it looks like it is going to be another pretty day in Oregon. When spring begins to hit here and we get some of these sunny days it is really a nice place to be. Now when the gloom of January and February are in full effect it can be a different story but it is amazing how easily one forgets that when it is so nice out side.

I got nothing for today. I believe that there is a big health care vote this weekend so we will see how that pans out and I may address that on Monday. I know I have readers on both sides of that issue. So lets look forward to that and I hope you all have a nice weekend.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

3-18-2010 (Thursday)

Well it is Thursday morning and I hope people survived yesterday's festivities. I did not celebrate at all. I went home from work and took care of the ferrets and then watched a new show starring Timothy Olyphant called 'Justified'. To put it as simply as possible after seeing 'Deadwood' I am willing to give almost anything a chance that has him in it. The show did not disappoint at all for me.

The action was well done and the humor was nice and did not seem forced. The drama was not to much of a drag on it. I also felt that the supporting cast was well chosen. It is going to be interesting to see how they develop the characters as the season moves along. There must have been lots of people interested in seeing it as well as it was the FX networks second highest premiere ever. Only 'The Shield' scoring higher. Now I realize that having a lot of people watching something does not make it good. But I really did enjoy it.

Though I do have one complaint. The show is taken from some Elmore Leonard novels and that is who the main character is. In fact some of the dialogue is taken straight out of one of the stories. But there was one sequence that, for me, reminded me a little to much of 'Get Shorty'. It reminded me of it because it is almost the exact same scene! The biggest difference being that Timothy Olyphant is a far better actor then John Travolta ever was. I also think the fault may lie more with Elmore Leonard then with the director of the show. Also I tend to notice stuff like that.

So if you have FX and you get a chance to catch on a rerun I urge you to give it a try. If you like crime dramas you will surely enjoy this one.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

3-17-2010 (Wednesday) St. Patrick's Day

Today is St Patrick's Day. A day some would argue is the biggest amateur drinking day of the year. Now some of you make be wondering who is St Patrick and why do we celebrate him.

Well...I do not know either and I am to lazy to look it up. I know there is something about the shamrock being a tool to explain the trinity to early non Christians and that the "wearing of the green" went from wearing a shamrock to wearing green so that some little hooligan on the schoolyard or in the office doesn't pinch you. I also am aware that for some Protestants this is a day where they put on orange instead of green. So if I wanted to follow that thread I could move into a rabbit hole about the "Troubles" in Ireland between the Catholics and the Protestants but having attempted to write one term paper on the subject and then picking a different topic I have no desire to do so again.

The history of St Patrick's Day aside it now appears to be mainly a day in America where people wear green and get really, really, drunk. Often there is a parade of some sort in the bigger eastern cities and I think in Chicago and Boston they may color the rivers green.

I do not think I will be going out this evening. Tomorrow is a work day and I do not like to work hungover. But I hope those of you who do have a good evening and a safe time. I will see you tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

3-16-2010 (Tuesday)

Well I have heard the stories but I never believed it was true. I just didn't see how someone could do it. It seemed to dangerous and almost foolhardy. I mean sure I have done some dangerous things over the years. There are people who will even tell you that I have done some foolish things. But, that isn't really the issue here.

Today as I was driving into Beaverton to go to work. I noticed a woman in front of me in a BMW. She was driving...I will use the word erratically and I thought what is going on. Then as I got closer to her. I realized that she was literally putting on makeup using her rear view mirror to do so. I have seen people on the freeway do this. But I have never seen anyone going through town in traffic doing it. Then to top it all off. She goes through a red light! I am glad I was paying attention or I might have followed her right through it.

In other news...I had coffee with my good friend Jennifer last night. I have known Jennifer since just after high school kind of. She was in the high school group at the church I attended when I was a senior but I didn't really interact with her until after high school and some time beyond that. But since then and over the years we have become pretty good friends. She is married now and has three kids and we still stay in contact when we can. But what I find interesting about spending time with her is that she has the ability to cut through whatever wall I am putting up emotionally. There have been times where I opted to not talk to her for very long on a particular day because I knew she would make me cry.

I love talking to her. But she has always affected me this way. It isn't that she is mean. Because she is probably one of the nicest people that I know. I have no idea what it is. She just cuts straight through all of my defenses and what seems like a really innocent question just kicks open the flood gates. So, that being sad it was just a good conversation and a good experience. I would recommend talking to her or having coffee at the Ike Box to anyone. It is a very nice place comfortable inside and the coffee is tasty.

That is all for today folks. I hope you all have a good day. I will see you tomorrow.

Monday, March 15, 2010

3-15-2010 (Monday)

I had a very good weekend. I went up to Seattle on Saturday to the Emerald City Comicon and it was great fun. My friend Travis and I drove up in my new car and that was a nice road trip. It was a short one the drive takes for me four hours and from Portland three hours so it is not a long drive but it is a nice way to put some highway miles on the new car.

There was a lot of people there. I really have no idea how many but we got there at ten o'clock and the place was already packed. I think the most interesting aspect for me was the different celebrities from the comic book world as well as the film and television world that were there. The biggest name as far as the comicon was concerned was Stan Lee but also Leonard Nimoy was there along with Lou Ferrigno as well as Erin Gray from "Buck Rogers' and a few others. But what had me the most excited was that several of the creators of my favorite webcomics were going to be there. It really seemed like almost all of the big names were going to be there.

Now, I realize that a comicon is a busy time and it is hard for these guys to have to deal with so many drooling fan boys. I also realize that the fan boys seem to come in two separate camps. There is the "Oh My God!! I love your work and it is the best thing ever it changed my life camp." followed closely by the "Worst Comic Ever!" *sniff* crowd. I tend to be a little bit in the middle of both camps. I really have no desire to wait in line to meet someone unless perhaps they are going to sign something that I will keep or sell. I doubt that I have anything clever enough to say that will make them take notice of me amongst all of the other fans there. But if there is no line and I am going to purchase something because I want to support there work I am more then willing to say hello to them and to thank them for the work that I have enjoyed.

The responses of the artists at the comicon were interesting. Travis and I stopped by Kurt Busiek's table. He was there with his wife and daughter kind of against the back wall of the room. He was super nice. He signed Travis's books and chatted with us and answered some questions just really a nice guy. Later on Travis and I stumbled upon the writer of The Mice Templar series Bryan J. L. Glass and the artist Michael Avon Oeming. This is a series I enjoyed on the web but I did not know that is was out in print so I was pretty excited to see it and them there. Well both men signed my hard copy graphic novel and were very nice. Bryan Glass told us about some upcoming plans for the series and when the next set were due to be released and it was a very nice chat with the both of them. The a little bit later I went over to the webcomic area where a lot of the creators were gathered and the creator of Sam and Fuzzy was there Sam Logan. He was also very friendly and nice to chat with as I purchased a print from him.

I was feeling pretty good at that point and I decided to head over to the PvP table and buy something else from the guy I was most excited to see, Scott Kurtz. I had earlier picked up a stuffed Skull the Troll doll from him and now wanted to get a print from him that he had done for the comicon. Well I do not know what happened but as I realized as I purchased the print and waited for him to sign it. He did not seem to care for me. It felt like his whole manner changed to the point that even Travis noticed it. I realize that it can get pretty crazy and people can be annoying but I have never had that kind of response. I mean as far as I know people tend to like me. So it was a odd experience for me. I am just going to chalk it up to stress and things like that for now. Since I have really no other way to respond to it.

One last special mention goes to Andy Runton the creator of "Owly". He did a sketch for Travis as well as several other people and just was a super nice guy. I wish I would have purchased something from him but I felt like one stuffed animal was enough.

Overall though it was a great trip. I look forward to returning to it next year.

Friday, March 12, 2010

3-12-2010 (Friday)

Good morning again folks. Today I wanted draw your attention to a little quiz that I recently took online. It is only 10 multiple choice questions. The Nolan Quiz So give it a go if you like and please return and share your results with me.

In the spirit of facts and truths I took the quiz and I ended up pretty much where I thought I would. I am a centrist and I lean to the liberal according to the chart. I am close to that line but I didn't cross over. I am not saying that my result was the correct result by any means. I would just like to see where a few of my readers fall. But, this is not a perfect quiz by any means. It is very and I say very heavily weighted toward the Libertarian side of things. The choices for answers are not very nuanced at all but it is interesting and seemed pretty accurate at least in my result anyway. So please check it out and stop back by and let me know how you did.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

3-10-2010 (Wednesday)

So where to begin? It is Wednesday morning and I am looking forward to a pretty good day. I get to go into the big city and pick up some stuff with Travis and that is always a fun time. I am also going to see my friend Eric for lunch and that is good as well.

One of the reasons why I am seeing Eric is to let him borrow my graphic novel "Wanted" now some of you may recall a movie with Angelina Jolie and Morgan Freeman by the same title. Well the movie was LOOSELY and I do mean LOOSELY based on the comic. I just have to say that the comic is ten to a hundred times better then the film. In fact I would go so far as to say that other then the characters having the same names and perhaps one or maybe two small plot points they are nothing alike.

I thought the movie was horrible. I will post a clip below.

That is the trailer. As far as trailers go it is a very good one. It makes you want to see the film. But...it was just so bad. There are things that make absolutely no sense in this movie. But...when I read the graphic novel after having seen the movie. They made sense. It didn't make the move any better but I understood why it sucked so badly. So if you get a chance read the graphic novel. It is an R rated one but it is good. Then if you have seen the movie or see the movie and lets talk about how much they missed the target on this one. Please do it I would love to have that discussion.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

3--9-2010 (Tuesday)

Well, here we are it is Tuesday morning and today is the last day for people to file in Oregon if they are going to run for office. It may be an interesting day but I am not sure. I was going to write some more about the upcoming elections in Oregon but I honestly am not all that interested in it. I will be shocked and amazed if a Republican were to win. I will be even more shocked and amazed of a third party candidate even gets any recognition in this state at all. I think the reality is that Oregon is basically a Democratic state. Or at least the population centers in the state are and until we start counting votes in a different way that is not going to change.

Now, understand me, I am not taking a pro or con on that position. I just think that is the case. The thing that may benefit the Republicans in this upcoming election is if maybe Chris Dudley can be thought of as some sort of political newcomer and can pick up some of the moderate and independent voters. They took a straw poll this weekend at Dorchester, the big Oregon Republican conference in Seaside, and Allen Alley won. I honestly am not sure what that means. I do not think Alley is going to be able to pull a moderate vote and I believe the majority of the people that attend an event like Dorchester are the pretty hard core true believers.

On the Democrats side I do not think anyone they are putting up in the primaries is going to beat Kitzhaber. While it is true that Bill Bradbury is making some noise I just do not see him actually toppling the Kitz. Also on a personal note Bradbury is not a friend of the work I do. He never has been and if he becomes governor he will most likely hurt the system in Oregon. I believe and believed even when I did not work in the process that the petition system is part of what makes Oregon special and lets the voters have a say now and then. Oh sure there are problems much like in any system but even at it's worst it still comes down to a vote and that is a good thing.

That is about all for today folks. Have a good one.

Monday, March 08, 2010

3-8-2010 (Monday)

Happy Monday folks. I hope we all had a good weekend. My weekend was pretty good. Well let me rephrase that. On Friday night my right eye was feeling itchy and felt like something was under the eye lid. But when I looked at it I could not find anything. But I spent Friday night and all of Saturday with my eye weeping and my nose running. It was an unpleasant experience to say the least. But, when I woke up Sunday morning everything was fine. I am not sure what was going on. I think I caught a little cold.

That was really about it. I did my best to have a pretty relaxing weekend overall. I really did not hear anything that I think I need to share with you folks today. I did see that 'The Hurt Locker' won the Oscar for best picture as its director won for best director so I am very happy about that screw you 'Avatar'. SCREW YOU!!

Thursday, March 04, 2010

The Writer's Almanac

I was out late tonight. If you are reading this tomorrow morning then it was Thursday night. I went to see my friend Levi and we played a game called Magic at another friends house. But that really isn't the point of the writing. I met Levi because Nicole, my ex-wife, worked with then Levi's girlfriend Eva. Now Levi and Eva are married and Nicole and I are not. It is funny how things change and how plans change. Well as often serendipity seems to work. I was ruminating on that on the drive home and listening to National Public Radio (NPR). Well every night I think about 9:50 or so they a quick show called "The Writers Almanac". It is hosted by Garrison Keillor of "Lake Wobegon" fame. Well he reads a poem or two and tells about writers birthdays and different books. Tonight he read a poem that I am going place below. Please take the time to read it and I will meet you on the other side.

by Stephen Dobyns

How calm is the spring evening, and the water
barely a ripple. My son stands at the edge
tossing in pebbles, then jumping back. He knows
that someplace out there lies Europe, and he points
to an island to ask if it is France. Here
on this beach my neighbor died, a foolish man.
He had fought with his daughter, his only child,
about her boyfriend and came here to cool off
when his heart stopped. Another neighbor found him
and thought him asleep, so relaxed did he seem.
He had helped me with my house, gave me advice
on painting, plastering. For this I thank him.
As I worked, we discussed our plans, how he wished
his daughter to go to the best schools, become
a scientist or engineer. I said how
I meant to settle down and make my life here—
My son asks me about the tide, why the water
doesn't keep coming up the street to wipe out
the house where he lives alone with his mother.
Is he scared, should I console him? Should I say
that if I controlled the tide I would destroy
that house for certain? Our plans came to nothing
and now, a year later, I'm just a visitor
in my son's life. We walk down to the water,
pause, and look out at the world. How big is it?
he asks me. Bigger every day, I answer.
"Cecil" by Stephen Dobyns, from Cemetery Nights. © Penguin Group, 1987. Reprinted with permission (buy now)

what did you think? I am not a great poetry reader. I do read all of the time and I fancy myself a bit of a writer but I do not have an ear for and never have really enjoyed poetry. But, as I listened to the poem being read and he mentioned the neighbor dying on the beach I thought "oh that is sad." and then he moved to the man's son asking about the tides and why didn't the water didn't come all the way up the street and "wipe out the house where he lived alone with his mother?"

That was when it hit me. The man was divorced and the plans that he had talked about previously with the now dead neighbor didn't matter. That the plans for the future came to nothing and now he is just a visitor. Well I do not mind telling you that I begone to cry as I was driving down the highway. I cried because the plans that I had now mean nothing. I cried because it feels like every time I have a good week or day something comes along from out of nowhere and makes me realize what I have lost. I honestly do not feel depressed a majority of the time. But in some ways I am dreading reaching a time where the thought of Nicole does not make me sad. As it is there is an empty spot in my life and for me to lose the memories I have of her, for me to lose the memories of the good times I do not know what that will mean for me.

As usual when the pain hits me. It hits me hard and it takes me by surprise. I have no idea how she is coping. Or even what she is doing to cope. The only thing that brings me some comfort is the vague hope that she is happier then I am now. At least I hope she is. I do not know. If she is not then this is truly a horrible thing for the both of us and there really was no benefit at all. I do not know that there should be a benefit but the thought that at least she might be happy or happier now has been of some small comfort to me.

Now, i sit in the garage and write on my laptop. Wullie is asleep in the ferret sleeping bag and Sebastian is roaming around like he usually does. "It's just you and me fellas." I tell them. I know they can't understand me. But sometimes it feels as if they are the only ones that I can really just let myself go with. Their needs are simple, clean food and water. Some bedding to sleep in and a little bit of attention but they do not even need much of that. I think they are aware that things are different but I am not sure what that would mean to them. I have no idea how aware they are of things. I wish I did...I wish I did.

3-4-2010 (Thursday)

Good morning folks. Today is March fourth or as some people refer to it March Forth. I think is kind of an interesting way to look at it. Using the calender to make today a day for stepping forward and doing things I would assume differently because why else would you want to feel this way. If you feel like things are going well and nothing needs to change then I doubt you are going to care one way or the other but maybe if things have seemed a little off then calling it March Forth maybe just what you need to start things fresh.

I am kind of on the fence myself. I realize that this has been a pretty crappy six months and I could use that as an excuse to make this day mean more then a normal day. But as far as the last week or so things are looking pretty good. Things at work are cranking along and there seems to be a future so that is good.

Other then that I got nothing today folks. My head is not really in it. But hopefully tomorrow the wisdom will flow forth like wine. We shall see.

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

3-2-2010 (Tuesday)

It is Tuesday morning and the sun has risen again and I am back at it. I hope you all are well and my lack of writing yesterday didn't leave to big of a hole in your lives. I know my wisdom that I give to you all freely is very important and without it most of you would not be able to really function. So rest assured that I am not planning on going anywhere. Also remember that when I rise to the top and I stand astride two pillars over the ashes of all who opposed me. Know that I will remember you and you all will have places in the new regime. Well some of you are going to. I really can't be expected to have a place for all of you. I am not sure who I can trust. So better safe then sorry. You know what? Just forget about that last part there. Things well work out you can trust me.

I listened to an interesting piece on NPR this morning talking to Mitt Romney and discussing his chances for 2012. He seems to be pretty obviously getting ready to run again. It is going to be interesting to see the build up to 2012. The Republicans feel that they have some momentum and that things are going to change in their favor. I think anything is possible but I wonder if Romney is conservative enough for the Tea Party crowd. I also still question as I did in 2008 if he can pull in the conservative Protestant Christians. I do not think he can. I have been wrong before but I do not think I am wrong on this one. It will be hard to tell anything on this one until we get closer to the primaries. I am not really sure who else the Republicans will put up.

That is all for today folks. As usual feel free to throw your thoughts at me.

Monday, March 01, 2010

3-1-2010 (Monday)

I do not have time for the blogging this morning. I just wanted to say hello and hopefully we will be back at it tomorrow. Catch you later.