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Wednesday, September 16, 2009

"Of Tea and Strumpets"

Oh I see you have decided to return and join me in a trip up the rails. North to........NO! Not north to Alaska. Why in the world would one want to go to such a state. You may as well move to darkest Africa. I have heard it tell that in Alaska they have mosquitoes that will carry off a small child. The men there sport enormous beards that go down to the middle of their chest or further and are infested with all manner of rodents. Why I met one fellow that had an angry squirrel in his beard. It was absolutely horrifying I can tell you.

So where were we? Oh yes! Welcome back to the train. I hope this trip is less stressful for you. I see you have brought along a stout walking stick. That is good to see. If needs be the stick will double quite nicely as a thwacking club. Not that I think we will need one. Never fear on that account my friend. I am well versed in all manner of manly arts and I fear no man or beast. If any foul fiends were to try to board the train I would have at them with a vengeance. You would be better off hiding under a seat perhaps. You do not seem muscular and I can tell by the way that you move about that you are all kinds of clumsy.

Now, now no reason to get your feelings hurt. One must be practical when it comes to ones own protection. Oh leaving again so soon? I understand. Have a safe and pleasant day sir and I hope we meet again.
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