What does detachment mean?

I am not a Buddhist, I have never claimed to be one. What I am is more of a seeker with interest in all kinds of things both philosophical and political. Sometimes these things cross over each other and other times they do not. I was raised in a Protestant Christian home and while my beliefs still tend to be in that direction I am sure that a good portion of what I do and think is not typical of what I think of as the usual Protestant. I also am well aware that my thoughts on religious and political issues are just as biased as other people and  while I like to think that I can be logical and practical about things I am sure that I have emotional blind spots like everyone else does. That is just called being human. I just want to make that clear. I do not have all the answers and I am not claiming too.

Oh! You Pretty Things - David Bowie

I would say that my basic belief system has undergone a wholesale seachange in the last five years or so, probably closer to the last three years. This started for me post my divorce. The upheaval from that led to me seriously looking for some level of peace and calm in my life. Some safe harbor from the storm of emotion that was spinning all around me. I was not getting this from my Protestant Christian life. I am not attacking that. I am just acknowledging that it was not helping me. I would also venture to say that my problems were probably more with the structure of church as an institution then it was with the idea of a personal level of faith.

Perfect Day - Lou Reed

So in that regard I do not think my faith has changed but I think that my idea of "worship" or "Church" has changed and I am finding the majority of peace and calm in the daily deep breathing and meditation that I do. But while I have enjoyed those things and I feel that they have been very beneficial in helping me achieve daily peace of mind. I read something today that I am having a hard time processing in terms of how I look to live my life and how I want to be thought of and how I want other people to think of me. The thought is below.

"There is nothing lacking in you, and you yourself are no different from the Buddha.  There is no way of achieving Buddhahood other then letting your mind be free to itself. You should not contemplate nor should you purify your mind. Let there be no craving and hatred, and have no anxiety or fear. Be boundless and absolutely free from all conditions. Be free to go in any direction you like. Do not act to do good, nor to pursue evil. Whether you walk or stay, sit or lie down, and whatever you see happen to you, all are the wonderful activity of the Great Enlightened One. It is all joy, free from anxiety-it is called Buddha" 

                    --- FA-Jung, The St Francis of Zen (594 - 657)

Southhampton Dock - Roger Waters


That whole idea leaves me so torn. The main part is that because I want to do good. I like to be good to people and I like for them to be good to me. So what does that mean for how I live my life if I stop doing that? Do I just start aimlessly floating? I do not think so but I feel like I am not grasping something. It feels like I am on the verge of clarity but it is floating just beyond my reach and Zen being what it is if I strive for it I will surely be unable to grasp it. I realize that clarity and understanding must come to me on my own but what that paragraph is asking of me seems impossible. My end desire is to achieve total calm but the cost of total calm is complete detachment from everything I care about then why would I want to do that?

Modern Love - David Bowie

Jan 3, 2011

Well it is the beginning of a brand new year. I am not sure what all of that means and I do not intend to bore you with a retrospective of the year in Lance or a top 10 list of any sort. I watched an interesting 10 minute video yesterday about the nature of Time. I found in very thought provoking. I will post it for people to watch. I would highly recommend taking the small amount of time it takes to watch and giving it a look. I think you will find it interesting.

Time is passing us all by.

I hope you were able to check that out. I would love to see your thoughts in the comments section.

I liked a lot of what he had to say and I will try to unpack some more tomorrow or later today. Have a good one folks.

Dec 27th, 2010

I hope all of you are recovering from your Christmas festivities. I went to bed about 11 or so last night which is early for me and I woke up at about 3:30 am. I am not sure what that means but I am not overly thrilled about it that is for sure. So I am writing this at about 5 am after playing several games of Football Manager 11 followed up by a losing effort in League of Legends. I saw basically two movies this weekend. Well more like 1 and a half. I went on Christmas day to see "The Kings Speech" with my parents and I have to say that I really enjoyed it. There were a couple of things that it did for me. It highlighted an area of history that I have always been a little bit interested in as well as showing me some new aspects of what was going on that I had not learned about in school. So if you are looking for a relatively cerebral film that tells a good story I would highly recommend it.

The other film that I only watched part of was "Inception" now I realize that is was kind of the hot film from last year. There were several stories written about it and many of the webcomics and blogs I read wrote about it. There was a big twist at the end that was supposed to be surprising and it dealt with what is really reality and how do we perceive it. I think maybe the idea that if I feel it is reality then it is reality even if in truth I am in a tube being fed paste kind of like "The Matrix" or if your actually intelligent or well read Plato's The Cave. But enough of my snarkiness. So after about 20 minutes or so of Leonardo DiCaprio fiddling around in peoples dreams along with some things in real life which I suspect were actually Leonardos dreams. (Spoiler) I realized that I just did not care about this story. It has been told and retold and retold better and in a far more interesting manner then this film.

I think that both reality and the nature of Free Will are big deals and important questions for those of us who care about that kind of thing to process but it is not done well in this film and it doesn't need to be redone by another ham-handed director. In this case the only good thing being that it wasn't a film directed by M. Night Shamaladingdong because he is a hack of the highest order. I believe that I will say that again just because it makes me feel good. M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN IS A HACK OF THE HIGHEST ORDER!!! Ahh that feels nice. Say it with me. I feel better and I think you will also.

A different sort of film that I would highly recommend is "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World" it is pure escapism but oh so much fun. I love that you basically take a seat and then are along for the ride and if, like me, you have grown up playing video games or reading comic books then you will enjoy it even more. Check it out. You will not be sorry and if you are then it is possible that we may not be able to be friends. I am sorry but that is just the way it is. There are some things that are to much for me to get past. So you think real long and hard before you give me your two cents concerning this film. Because if you do not like it my wrath will come down upon you like Thor's hammer with the wrath and fury of two suns colliding!!!!

COUNT ON THAT!!!!!