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Saturday, June 01, 2013

What does detachment mean?

I am not a Buddhist, I have never claimed to be one. What I am is more of a seeker with interest in all kinds of things both philosophical and political. Sometimes these things cross over each other and other times they do not. I was raised in a Protestant Christian home and while my beliefs still tend to be in that direction I am sure that a good portion of what I do and think is not typical of what I think of as the usual Protestant. I also am well aware that my thoughts on religious and political issues are just as biased as other people and  while I like to think that I can be logical and practical about things I am sure that I have emotional blind spots like everyone else does. That is just called being human. I just want to make that clear. I do not have all the answers and I am not claiming too.


Oh! You Pretty Things - David Bowie

I would say that my basic belief system has undergone a wholesale seachange in the last five years or so, probably closer to the last three years. This started for me post my divorce. The upheaval from that led to me seriously looking for some level of peace and calm in my life. Some safe harbor from the storm of emotion that was spinning all around me. I was not getting this from my Protestant Christian life. I am not attacking that. I am just acknowledging that it was not helping me. I would also venture to say that my problems were probably more with the structure of church as an institution then it was with the idea of a personal level of faith.


Perfect Day - Lou Reed

So in that regard I do not think my faith has changed but I think that my idea of "worship" or "Church" has changed and I am finding the majority of peace and calm in the daily deep breathing and meditation that I do. But while I have enjoyed those things and I feel that they have been very beneficial in helping me achieve daily peace of mind. I read something today that I am having a hard time processing in terms of how I look to live my life and how I want to be thought of and how I want other people to think of me. The thought is below.

"There is nothing lacking in you, and you yourself are no different from the Buddha.  There is no way of achieving Buddhahood other then letting your mind be free to itself. You should not contemplate nor should you purify your mind. Let there be no craving and hatred, and have no anxiety or fear. Be boundless and absolutely free from all conditions. Be free to go in any direction you like. Do not act to do good, nor to pursue evil. Whether you walk or stay, sit or lie down, and whatever you see happen to you, all are the wonderful activity of the Great Enlightened One. It is all joy, free from anxiety-it is called Buddha" 

                    --- FA-Jung, The St Francis of Zen (594 - 657)




Southhampton Dock - Roger Waters


That whole idea leaves me so torn. The main part is that because I want to do good. I like to be good to people and I like for them to be good to me. So what does that mean for how I live my life if I stop doing that? Do I just start aimlessly floating? I do not think so but I feel like I am not grasping something. It feels like I am on the verge of clarity but it is floating just beyond my reach and Zen being what it is if I strive for it I will surely be unable to grasp it. I realize that clarity and understanding must come to me on my own but what that paragraph is asking of me seems impossible. My end desire is to achieve total calm but the cost of total calm is complete detachment from everything I care about then why would I want to do that?


Modern Love - David Bowie

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