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Sunday, June 30, 2013

Put on that Smiling Face....

I try to be honest with people. I really do. I think most people would say that I am an honest person and will answer questions truthfully but I still find myself falling back into a reflexive "I'm good" when people ask "How are you doing?" But more often then not I am not doing "good" or "well" depending upon your level of grammar Nazi.

I don't intend to lie. But it is so much easier to just say the reflexive answer rather then have to have a big long conversation about why I am not feeling well. To do so just seems so exhausting.

Both Sides Now - Judy Collins

I was watching a documentary about the "Grateful Dead" today and the man who had written Ripple (Robert Hunter) said this while talking about when he wrote that song and several other very transcendent songs.

"Would those days but come again. Oh they will, they will. But not for me" 

That really resonated with me on several levels. On a personal level, what is done is done and what is past is past and while there may always be a twinge of nostalgia for those things I have be honest and realize that they will never come back again and I can't relive them even if I wanted to. I guess it is all on a personal level but the quote made me think about Eric and that he is gone. Those days will not come again and my life goes on whether I like it or not. The world continues to spin and people continue to function and move forward even I do not feel like I can move forward. Because it often does seem a little bit pointless and I feel like I have to fabricate a reason to take those steps forward and to continue to function in some way.

Ripple - Grateful Dead

Also my back hurts today and that seems to have upped my crankiness and made everything seem oh so overly dramatic. Ugh
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