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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

4-21-2010 (Wednesday)

It appears that there may be some initial resistance to my plan to replace the world's economy with Hugs. I heard from one Commentator Joel who absolutely refused to Hug a Hipster. Now I can respect that position because after all who would really want to Hug a Hipster. But I am unable to allow for any potential destabilizing of my chosen method of payment. The economy must stay strong and the power and value of the Hug must be inviolate. So therefor I decree that from the day of the beginning of my Theocracy all Hipsters will be done away with. Their presence and the fact that most people are not willing to or want to Hug them will do irreversible damage to my economic system.

We will just relocate them to a Hipster enclave. I am thinking Portland or Seattle because the mild weather will make it easier on them and they seem to thrive in the damp weather. Almost like mold really. But never fear. In the enclave the Hipster will be fed and allowed out daily to exercise. They will be allowed to listen to the latest albums from the hottest indy bands that haven't even been signed yet and in some cases do not even have an album to listen to. They will be allowed a long debate time each day as well as two hours each day to correct errors on the Internet about their favorite bands and films. But I will not allow the drinking of Pabst Blue Ribbon. It is not needed and will only serve to prolong the scourge of Hipster-ism upon the land.

Trust me in this. We will not be truly free until Hipsters are done away with. I tell you upon that glorious day. The sun will shine and the birds shall sing. All will be right with the earth. Now join me in a group Hug as we concentrate upon the gradual removal of the Hipster. My will be done.
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