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Thursday, April 22, 2010

4-22-2010 (Thursday)

Well, well, well, as soon as a new idea comes out the Hipster sympathizers rise up and question the new regime. Now while I applaud Joel and his idea to shoot them into the sun, he must understand that such a thing would just not be cost effective. But I am always looking for new ideas so please keep them coming. There may be a place for you in the new Theocracy as a Minister of New Ideas.

Now on to Shakes and her concern about the camps and the fear that this will lead to a couple of potential different results. Shakes writes

"I first thought of the British moving the criminals to Australia, but you have jumped past that into a regimented camp. How long will it be until you see an untapped, unlimited work source? Sure you say they will be fed, but what happens when you realize how much you could save if you reduced their food intake?"

I understand your concern Shakes, but trust me. The average Hipster is so lazy that they are sure to be useless for actual labor. Now I grant you, it may be possible to find a way to generate some sort of energy using their ability to generate anger in others. Perhaps we shall find a way to hook their brains up to a machine and they can do their fair share to power the grid matrix style. I know already that a side benefit of my new "Hugs instead of dollars" campaign will be the generating of small amounts of energy. Perhaps this would be the time to talk about the new uniforms. Everyone who is not a Hipster will be outfitted with a form fitting jumpsuit made out of Angora Wool. Along with the jumpsuit will come a small battery pack that fits on your belt. The prescribed method of hugging will be to shake hands with the right hand and put the left hand and arm around the other person them pulling them close you make three up and down rubbing motions with the left hand on their back. This action done as required per each hug will generate (an estimated) .005 kilowatts per stroke and will serve to power the grid by wireless. So thank you for your thoughts Shakes and please keep them coming. You will be monitored by the Minister of Monitoring.

As to S. and his little poem as it were. You must already be aware S. that I have a place for you in the new Theocracy as the Minister of Coffees. Within that role you will be in charge of all things caffeinated. You should not fear my friend. As long as the Coffee flows the Theocracy will continue. But know this the Minister of Monitoring will be keeping an eye and you and your cleverness.

In fact all those who are clever are going to need to wear a big C on their chests. I will not have the Clever roam about and spread "ideas". There is enough of that going on right now.

Now please stay tuned as later on (Tomorrow or perhaps next week) I will lay out my 10 point plan for the new Theocracy and the Hugonomy that will bring us into a new GOLDEN AGE!!
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